Good evening, welcome to our program, it is I, Nosferuiz
I bring you another thrilling installment from the screem writers' crypts
Tonight our creature feature comes
From the creepiest scream place of all time
Not one, nor two, but twelve terrific tales
I hope we can finish this marathon before sunrise
Our first tragic story stars: Hiisi, Mana, Kone, Hella and Lordi
Now hold on to your crosses and put salt on the windows and doors
As we bring you: "Unliving Picture Show"