[phone ringing]
[Geoff]:
(Will somebody answer the fucking phone?
Good lord

Hello?)

[Aaron]: Hey, Justin
(My name isn't Justin!)
Hey. It's Aaron
(That's great.)
I-I can't come out tonight
(What?!)
I'm gonna see this girl
(But I thought we were gonna have an orgy.)
No - no. Her name is Candy -
(I don't care what her name is--)
She's real cute. I gotta go, see ya
(What? Oh, hell no.)

I know a girl who's tough but sweet
(More like sour.)
She's so fine, she can't be beat
(I'll fuckin' beat her.)
She's got everything that I desire
(Yeah, well she's missing a few inches.)
Sets my summer sun on fire
(I'll light her on fire!)
[Chorus]:
I want candy
(Ew.)
I want candy
(I didn't know you liked taco.)
I want candy
(Are you sure it's not Randy?)
I want candy
(I'll kill that bitch.)

Go to see her when the sun goes down
(You always told me you were going to the bathroom!)
Ain't no finer girl in town
('Cause she's a slut!)
You're my girl, what the doctor ordered
(I didn't know you could have a skank as a prescription...)
So sweet, you make my mouth water
('Cause my cock was in your mouth last night...)
Oooooohhhh--

[Chorus]:
I want candy
(Yeah, candy penis.)
I want candy
(You're gonna smell like fish!)
I want candy
(Bitch, you're not Willy Wonka...)
I want candy
(She's just a loose-pussied ho!) (ho)
Hey! (What?)
Hey! (What?!)
Hey! (Why do you keep saying hey?)
Hey! (Stop it.)
Hey! (What is this hey?)
Hey! (Stop it.)
Hey! (I will kill you. Shut up.)
Hey!

Candy on the beach, there's nothing better
(Oh, gag me with a spoon.)
But I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater
(Well, isn't that kinky?)
Some day soon I'll make you mine
(You're ca-ca, I don't want you.) [?]
Then I'll have candy all the time
(You'll have the smell of fish all the time!)
Ooooohhhh

[Chorus]:
I want candy
(It's not even Halloween.)
I want candy
(She's not even a real girl!)
I want candy
(Great! Let's go to Wal-Mart and get some.)
I want candy
(Oh, God, we get the point...)
Candy in the morning time
(Ew.)
Candy in the hot sunshine
(Ew!)
Candy baby can't you see
(No...)
All i want is your candy
(Gross.)

Candy in the morning time
(Ew.)
Candy in the hot sunshine
(Ew!)
Candy baby can't you see
(No...)
All I want is your candy


Hey! (Oh, not again...)
Hey! (Shut up.)
All I want is your candy
Hey! (Shhuddup.)
Hey! (I will kill you - I will kill you--)
Hey! (with my eyeliner.)
Hey!
All I want is your candy
(I'll kill that bitch, too.)