[Main Song, Wario]
You want fun?
I'll show you fun!
No Backwards Long Jump
No time to run!

Think you'll escape?
You're cuckoo-crazy!
Nowhere to go but straight to me!

Fate is maligned
Now deaf to your cries
Yes, you will be mine
It's Wario time!
Be consumed by my design!

Oh, my stomach is rolling
With the taste of garlic and human fear!
You can't leave here

In this place, fun never ends
Well, not 'til Wario apprehends
You skinny chumps who try to flee
But you cannot outrun me!

WAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wario number one!
Wario... the LEGEND!
WARIO!!!
I GOTTA WIN!
When you see the Wario head
The face of greed shall never rest
Until you're dead!

(WAAAA!)

Greed is good! Greed is good!
Why not submit to me?
You'll soon see
Treasures of which
You have never, ever, ever dreamed!

Obey Wario
Destroy Mario!
Give me your soul!
Give me control!

Riches you can't fathom
In a world that's personalized
Every atom shifts before your eyes
No use running
Fate is coming!

Soon, you'll be another victim
Of the Wario Apparition
Say your prayers!
Sleep in this nightmare!
You sought treasure
In a realm defiled
You'll forever wander halls capricious
Exiled
From what you know to be real
Now you're Wario's meal
In your last heartbeat
Choose a god
And make your appeal!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
...Have a rotten day!

[Post end-slate, Wario, MOTI]
You were expecting a secret song?
TOO BAD!
YOU JUST GOT WARIO'D!
WA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!
I stole this joke from Man on the Internet!
LOOK AT ME GO!

(Indescribable Wario noises)

Hey, could you give me my bit back, please?
Oh, okay. Sorry