Bo Burnham
3.14 Apple Pi
[Intro]
Let's do this
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yo, yo, wassup?
Word to my n-words

[Verse 1]
Don't got bros, don't hang in the streets
I don't beat my hoes, I only beat my meat, yeah
Don't womanize, 'cause you know it's true
That when you look in their eyes, you see they're people too
Mother effin' suffrage
I said, mother effin' suffrage

[Verse 2]
You know I'm a gangster, you know I do Coke
But I had to go to Diet, 'cause it burnt my throat
I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life
Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike
Yeah
I said, the car is my bike

[Verse 3]
Yo, yo
3.14 Apple pi
I say, I whip it out, I clean it off, I stick it in her eye
And by "it" I mean contact lens
It must have got dirty
[Verse 4]
Yo, yo, yo
3.14 Apple pi
I got rhymes and flows that make Hitler cry
George Bush won't, he'll just yell and rant
But he's a presi-don't who Ameri-can't
Oh my Lord
The kid is, uh, he is clever
Come on, give it to him

[Verse 5]
I spit gangster hymns, 'cause I'm a gangster straight
I think of 20-inch rims when I masturbate
We're gonna be late, there's no time to waste
'Cause the girls that I date, have a particular taste
The taste of my wiener
The taste of my wiener

[Verse 6]
Yo
3.14 Apple pi
Why was I born White? No one quite knows why
Gangsters sell their rocks, I got a collection
You couldn't get a rise out of a yeast infection
Oh, what does that mean?
Yeast rises
[Verse 7]
Yo
I'm a lyrical heretic, but I'll make you laugh
I'll hit you with rhetoric, then I cut you in half
I don't need to be a clown, I don't need to be nice
How 'bout you sit down, and I serve you a slice
Of my 3.14 apple pi
My voice is so smokey, it'll make you high

[Verse 8]
Yo
Here's a confession, it's all about me
Here's my impression of a broken jet ski
Pu-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-
Da-da-da, fill me with gas
I’m a jet ski

[Verse 9]
Here come the puns, here come the puns
Here come the puns, here come the puns
All you little thugs wanna mess with me?
Know that I been doin' drugs since the age of three
I took my cereal, stabbed it open with a knife
Snorted that shit and I got high on Life

[Verse 10]
Yo
A guy asked me for change, sayin' my mind was too dense
I said, "You won't make cents if you don't make sense"
Ah, look at that
Big finale... let’s hit it
[Verse 11]
You know I flow and show it, you know that Bo know it
Yo, your lawn I'll grow it and mow it, 'cause he's a show poet
Yo, my rims be spinnin', I winnin', like Adam, I be sinnin'
Potato skinnin' and knittin' and separate those linens
In my eyes you see flies, and though you people try
Just to disguise all your lies, but, baby, I be wise
Know I did it and shit it, your brothers couldn't hit it
Then you try to rid it, too late! I already spit it
Patooey
I already spit it

[Outro]
I said, apple pi