Bo Burnham
I Love You (Masturbation)
[Woman in audience]
I love you!

[Bo]
No, you fucking don't.
You do not.
Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love. You need to reject both sides of the spectrum to leave a... healthy middle.

[Woman in audience]
I love the idea of you!

[Bo]
Stop participating. Not a participatory thing going on up here. Trying to immortalize something I've worked on for a long time. Shut up!

I have not... made my mind up... about... masturbation. It's weird and I'm torn. You know, 'cause on one hand it feels good.

(Audience cheers)

[Bo]
Did you not think I was going to use this, idiots? It's not a prop. It will be used intermittently.