[Bo Burnham]
Guys, I'm not perfect, okay?
I don't use air quotes correctly, alright?
But I am against double standards across the board
Why is it that when a woman wheres revealing clothing, she's labeled a slut
Yet if I were to wear her skin as a jacket, I'm a murderer

If I fuck a kid, I'm a pedophile
But if a kid fucks me, I'm a pedophile again?
Twice in a week? What is this?

[Music starts, Voice starts talking]
Hey Bo! Want to sing a song with us?

[Bo]
Okay

[Voice]
Great!

[Bo]
I don't know the words, though

[Voice]
That's alright, you'll figure it out!

[Bo]
Alright! Woo!

[Voice]
Hey Bo! Guess what?

[Bo]
What?

[Voice]
You're a faggot!
[Music stops, crowd applauds]

[Bo]
Wasn't clever, just mean. Bigoted, I apologize for that
So I was interrupted the other day while I-

[Music starts]
(Motherfucker!)
[Voice]
Hey Bo! Wanna sing another song together?

[Bo]
I really dont!

[Voice]
Too bad!

[Bo]
God damnit

[Voice]
Hey Bo! Guess what?

[Bo]
I'm a faggot. (Correct!)
Its not funny

[Voices]
You're a faggot, You're a faggot, You're a fucking faggot
You're a faggot, (Can you turn the lights off?)

[Bo]
Is this funny to you people? Turn it off. Turn the track off
[Record scratch]
Why was it on a record player? You have a record player back there? You have hooked up a record player?
[Laughter]
You know, it's one thing to make that but to press it onto vinyl
Is a whole other thing. Alright? It's gonna outlive me

Just to be clear, I wrote, conceived, and executed the entirety of that bit. Do not give those Dumbfucks any credit
It's all me, baby. All me
Look at you people in the Abe Lincoln seats?
Bam! Too late, too late. How dare he make that joke so late?