Joe Hawley
Crazy F***
Are you going to eat that crazy food?
May I please have some of it too?
(O, I hope that it does not
Give you indigestion!
This was once a true phantasy of mine)

Shucks, it’s fussing bonkers
At the farmers’ market
We drove the gosh dang Jeep
And there’s no place to park it

What the fuss? Cuss!
Check out that lazy dude
With all that crazy food
Handing ample samples
Out to non-customers!

Fussing find that punk
If scheisse ever gets dire
Gosh dang! He's Superman!
Who the heck’s his supplier?

Rapunzel, Rapunzel
Let down your spaghetti!
Srsly tho’, he’s packing
Chow like confetti
"Ready?"

Shucks! uh…
ALLSPICE AMARANTH ARTICHOKE ACAI
BANANA BARLEY BASIL BAY LEAVES BOK CHOI CHAI
SEITAN POT PIE MARBLED RYE

BEDHI’D BLACK-EYED PEAS BING CHERRIES
CHIOGGIA BEETS (hold the meats) GOOSEBERRIES
CAYENNE CHESTNUT CHIA COCONUT CUSTARD
DAHLIA DATES SAFFRON DIJON MUSTARD

(You’re flustered!) DURIAN CURRY KALE CASSAVA
CLOVE EGGPLANT FLAX DEMITASSE KAVA
GARLIC KUMQUAT LYCHEE OCA ROOT
JALAPENOS GARBANZOS STARFRUIT SNAKEFRUIT

LAVENDER LIME KARELA KOHLRABI
JUNIPER JAK WAKAME WASABI
PAPAYA PAPALO MARIGOLD MANGO
OREGANO SAKE LEMON LUO HAN GUO

KIWI CATNIP CAROLINA REAPER
EGUSI ICACO (why can’t this be cheaper?)
POPPIES ASPARAGUS QUEEN ANNE’S CARROTS
BROCCOLI a GAC and that’ll take care of us
You have more?!
Wherefore dost thou obtain s’uch crazy food
Thou crazy fuss!?!

COLLARD GREENS BUTTER BEANS VANILLA
POMEGRANATE PINEAPPLE SARSAPARILLA
RAMBUTAN DRAGONFRUIT TAPIOCA
ATEMOYA AKEBIA ROSE MOCHA

AMANITA MUSCARIA CHIVE POTATOES
WATERCRESS SPROUTS QUINOA TOMATOES
PARSLEY SAGE ROSEMARY wait…
Almost seems like this should be illegal
(Will these even fit in the vehicle?)

WATERMELON MARIJUANA RHUBARB
TAMARIND TARRAGON TURNIP SWISS CHARD
BLUEBERRY CARAWAY FENNEL CACAO
BOYSENBERRY CUMIN CANTALOUPE (Wow.)

CELERY SESAME YAM ANISE ZINNIA
KOLAS GRANOLAS MARCONAS GARDENIAS
LENTIL CABBAGE VITAL WHEAT GLUTEN WIENER
GHOST PEPPER MUENSTER GEWURZTRAMINER

APPLE FIG PEAR PEACH
PINE HAZEL WALNUT BEECH
SPELT MILLET TEFF TARO
SHALLOT GINGER MACA FARRO
YARROW KALENDULA KOMBU CHLORELLA
CILANTRO PECAN CITRON PORTOBELLA
PUMPKIN RADISH ONION RICE
GINGKO OLIVE MAPLE ICE

THYME STRAWBERRY
PAPAYA CATTAIL SHERRY
MULBERRY PLUM MIMOSA
ARGYREIA NERVOSA

CUCUMBERS MAYPOPS SHAMROCKS
What’s with the HEMLOCKS?!
BOURBON APRICOT SOUR
TRUFFLE SAMPHIRE FLOWER

SQUASH ZUCCHINI MACARONI PORCINI VERMICELLI
AVOCADO PISTACHIO CINNAMON ROYAL JELLY
PERSIMMONS HEMP HEARTS GREEN GODDESS
CELASTRUS PANICULATUS
KOMBUCHA and ORANGES

Cash only? Uh, nevermind

[JAPANESE, reversed]
Are you going to eat that disgusting food, really?