Everyday when school is through
I run home and turn on my PS2
Grab some chips and dip and I'm home free
Until I fall asleep that night I play the world that always feels right
The wonderful world of Grand Theft Auto III

And when I play this game
It's like that's all there is
No grades
No homework
No remote possibility of a quiz
Instead of differential calculus
I'm running over kids in a stolen school bus

I beat up a hobo
A kick in his head
Kick a few more times to make sure that he's dead
I steal a lot of cars with names that don't get exist
And the people who own them might get pissed
But that's okay--'cause they're not real--I could beat them up too
And drive around like a maniac while the angry cops pursue
I don't think of myself as a nerd per se but it's most important part of my day

Because I love Grand Theft Auto III
But I could use some company
I wonder if somewhere in this big wide world
There's someone else (Preferably a girl)
Who loves Grand Theft Auto III
As much as me
What if there's a girl
I walk right past each day
A woman who completely shares my love for the GTA
Sometimes I imagine her
Blue eyes and long blonde hair
Big thick calluses on her thumbs from hours of pressing circle and square
I'll probably never find her but even if that's true
I never give up hope that someday I'll find my player two
I play about 96 hours a week, but I'm not the kind of guy that you'd call a geek
Right? Anyway

I love Grand Theft Auto III
But I could use some company
I wonder if somewhere in this big wide world
There's someone else (It has to be a girl! Sit down sir.)
Who loves Grand Theft Auto III
As much as me

Who am I kidding here?
I'm meant to be alone
All this thinking me feel like trash
I guess I'll go beat up some hookers
And steal their cash

I love Grand Theft Auto III (Who said that?)
But sometimes I get lonely
After looking all over this big wide world
Could you be the guy? (Could you be the girl?)
Who loves Grand Theft Auto III
As much as me
Where have you been 'til now?
I've waited for so long
To find a someone with whom I belong

Wait a second, how do I know you love GTA III as much as me? You could just be telling me that to see my wing-wang
I can prove it!
You know the cheat codes?
I don't need em, but yeah, try me

Alright, full health!
R2, R2, L1, R1, left, down, right, up, left, down, right, up

Not bad, Riot!

Down, up, left, up, X, R1, R2, L2, L1
Full Armor!
R2, R2, L1, L2, left, down, right, up, left, down, right, up
Wow, your wanted level just went way up

You really love Grand Theft Auto III (We love it together)
Will you keep me company (I will forever)
Forever and ever
Our love for simulated crime
Will stand the rigid test of time

Turn off the PS2
I wanna play with you
I found my player two