Have you got Miss Fortune?
She's the daughter of rich parents
All she does is cry
One four-letter word is all she wants
But you can't buy love
So there's no supply

Will you take young Master Charge?
The boy who's living well
Beyond his father's means
See his mother kill herself with work
To keep her dandy
In the latest jeans
(Happy families.)

Happy families is a kid's game
Happy families is your main aim
It starts out with a dealing in the middle of the night
And ends up with a full house if you play your cards out right
Mum says Dad is cheating
You should see the grown-ups fight
For...

Happy families
The game that's sure to please
Have you got young Master Race?
The bigot son who, like his dad
Is fueled with fear
Not so much a son more of a stormtrooper
To burn the books
When Dad's not here

Happy families is a kid's game
Happy families is your main aim
You start out with your first cub and you think that life's a song
You'll end up with a wolfpack if you lay your cards out wrong
Dad says Mom is cheating
You can see the children long
For...

Happy families
The game that's sure to please

Have you got Miss Carriage?
She's the girl who wants a baby
That she cannot find
Strange, the ones who want to win the race are
Usually the ones
Who fall behind