[Verse: Jackson]
Statues of age-old, stone-shed tears
There's a myriad of reasons why, none of which I need to hear
What I'm listening for resonates at very low frequencies
Only seismologists speak to me
Recently, wheels that squeak have no sequel
Refusing to roll like predictable people
The nunnery is harnessing sexual frustration
Converting it into fuel, powering the congregation
Tour bus for a time travel fantasy
Six thousand years in the past to dismantle the
Ludicrous theories of secular scientists
Backing their statements with useless appliances
I apply knowledge from tabloid horoscopes
Reminding me, all is not lost, there is hope
Play the lottery, unplug the discord
Flex your authority, carry a clipboard

[Chorus: Jared]
My life is fleeting; I shall soon befall the fate of mortals
My only dying wish is to be greeted at the portal
Of all eternal Hell by he whom I've put all my faith in
I'll dedicate my afterlife to serve the mighty Satan

[Verse: Jackson]
Look at the bottom of that fir tree: a tell-tale sign
Somebody was here, wired it up, put it together in no time
Who did the deed? Who tried to rid the woods
Of three dudes that cuss too much and do no good?
They trample vegetation with their ATV's
So now they're fucking with the ghost of Johnny Appleseed
And he's a charitable spirit, but not so Christ-like
He wouldn't take his tin-pot hat to their windpipes
[Chorus]
My life is fleeting; I shall soon befall the fate of mortals
My only dying wish is to be greeted at the portal
Of all eternal Hell by he whom I've put all my faith in
I'll dedicate my afterlife to serve the mighty Satan

[Outro]
NataS ot flesruoy eviG
Snoinim s'legna nellaf eht fo eno emoceB
Ssenkrad eht htiw secrof nioJ (Give yourself to Satan)
NataS ot flesruoy eviG (Give yourself to Satan)
NataS ot flesruoy eviG (Give yourself to Satan)
NataS ot flesruoy eviG (Give yourself to Satan)
NataS ot flesruoy eviG (Give yourself to Satan)
(Give yourself to Satan)