[Intro]
Melanie
What can the problem be?
Sweet Melanie
Why won't you go out with me?

[Verse 1]
She lived across the street
On the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore Building
I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap
I knew she had to be the girl for me
And to think I probably never would have found her
If I hadn't bought that telescope

[Chorus]
Oh, Melanie
What can the problem be?
Sweet Melanie
Why won't you go out with me?

[Verse 2]
I just can't understand it
Why won't you return my phone calls?
Are you still mad I gave a Mohawk to your cat?
If you'd just say the word
I'm certain that our love would last forever and ever
Or are you too dumb to realize that?