Stephen Lynch
Casualty of Love
[ROBBIE]
I thought I had the kind of love
You find in fairy tales
But then my girl ripped out my heart
With her plastic press-on nails
So if you know the kind of pain
This loser's singin' of
Well, let me hear you say it
I'm a casualty of love
Just a casualty of love

[SIDEBURNS GIRL]
I'm a casualty of love!

[ROBBIE]
Tell me about it!

[SIDEBURNS GIRL]
I put a top hat on my cat, and I asked him to the prom

[NERD]
I was stood up by my date, and by "date," I mean my mom

[FAT LADY]
Each night I open up my mouth and give those twinkies a shove
[ROBBIE]
Well I know why you do it...
You're a casualty of love!

[LOSERS]
I'm a casualty of love!

[ROBBIE]
Just a casualty of love!

[LOSERS]
A casualty of

[ALL]
Love

[ROBBIE]
We're from different walks of life
And different points of view
But we come together now

[ALL]
Through our hatred of you!
Cause we're casualties of love

[ROBBIE]
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a hoax, love's a tease
A pinata full of bees
Love's a joke, love's a scam
A Sargent Slaughter body slam
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I...
You'll end up just like us
Cause, trust me, love always ends
You'll be fat, divorced, and broke
While she has sex with all of your friends
[ROBBIE and LOSERS]
You'll be casualties of love
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I need
I need

[ROBBIE]
No one's ever gonna love
A casualty of love