[Verse 1]
Jeremy Bender was a man of leisure
Took his pleasure in the evening sun
Laid him down in a bed of roses
Finally decided to become a nun

[Verse 2]
Talked with his sister and spoke in a whisper
Threatened to fist her if she didn't come clean
Jumped on the mother, just like a brother
Asked one another if the other's a queen

[Verse 3]
Digging the sister, she was a mister
Shouldn't have kissed her but he couldn't say no
Wanted to leave her, couldn't believe her
So he picked up his suitcase and decided to go