[Verse: Gus Johnson]
Sex is very bad for you
I cannot tell a lie
If Jesus sees you do it
Then you're surely gonna die

[Verse: Sven Johnson]
And it feels really painful
Like your penis is on fire
Please believe us when we say this
’Cause the situation's dire

[Verse: Gus Johnson, Sven Johnson]
Butts (No!)
Boobies (No!)
Naked lady movies (No!)

[Verse: Gus and Sven, Sven, Jakey, All three]
Don't show me body parts
That make the peepee or the poopies
The best advice that my father said to me
Your number one goal in life:
Keep that dingle droopy!

[Verse: Gus, Sven]
Wait a minute, dad
How’d we even get alive?
Did you possibly have sex
So that we could both survive?
[Verse: Jakey]
My boy, my son
Please let me just explain
I only did it twice
To preserve the family name

[Break: Gus, Jakey]
Dad?
I'm sorry

[Verse: Sven and Gus]
We had to kill our dad
Cuz he broke the only rule
We didn't wanna do it
But his actions weren't cool

[Outro: Gus and Sven]
The moral of the story
I think it's pretty clear
You gotta go and kill your dad

[spoken: Gus]
This actually is not a joke