I used to dream that
I would discover the perfect lover some day
I knew I'd recognize him
If ever he came around my way
I always used to fancy then
He'd be one of the god-like kind of men
With a giant brain and a noble head
Like the heroes bold in the books I've read
But along came Bill who's not the type at all
You'd meet him on the street and never notice him
His form and face, his manly grace
Are not the kind that you would find in a statue
Oh I can't explain, it's surely not his brain
That makes me thrill, I love him
Because he's wonderful, because he's just my Bill
He can't play golf or tennis or polo
Or sing a solo or row
He isn't half as handsome
As dozens of men that I know
He isn't tall and straight and slim
And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim
Oh, I can't explain why he should be
Just the one, one man in the world for me
He's just my Bill, an ordinary man
He hasn't got a thing that I can brag about
And yet to be upon his knee
So comfy and roomy, feels natural to me
Oh, I can't explain, it's surely not his brain
That makes me thrill, I love him
Because he's, I don't know, because he's just my Bill