What a fucked up world
Or is it my fucked up head?
The only way you are cool
Is if you're gay or dead

Straight, normal, hetero guy
Normal, hetero, straight guy

I never get any chicks
But it's better than a gun
Or a dick in the mouth
Is there any place to be for
A normal straight guy like me?

Straight, normal, hetero guy
Normal, hetero, straight guy

Maybe I should pierce my butt
Or get a few tattoos
Maybe I should wear a dress
Or be a homo like you

Straight, normal, hetero guy
Normal, hetero, straight guy

Yeah, that's right
I'm a straight, normal, girl fuckin'
Coffee drinkin'
Titty suckin'
Cigarette smokin'
Seal killin'
Red neck ass bastard from hell