Adam, you like having a drink or two
Sometimes twenty if you're feeling blue
Sometimes one in the morning so you can get out of bed
Ya like Jim, ya like Jack, ya like Maker's Mark
Ya like drinking in the daytime, drinking in the dark
You like drinking with a crowd, or drinking alone
Drinking in the shower, or drinking on the phone

I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
Tried to hide it but I'm bad at lying
So I'm still drinking if you're still buying
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying

Roy, you like women but you're a married man
Sneaking around every chance you can
The feminine nation's gonna be the ruination of you
You like brunettes and redheads and bottled blonds
Pulling them jeans off, and mowing them lawns
But you're staring down the barrel
It's the same old' song, cause your wife and your girlfriend can't get along

I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
Having several women is death defying
But if there's eggs to break, I can't help but fry 'em
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
Roy, you like smoking my cheap homegrown, that Mexican lettuce sure gets you stoned
You cotton-mouth so dry, you'll drink the water from a bong
You like sensimilla red and Acapulco gold, Maui waui, and resin from the bowl
But we ain't wrote a song in so long I don't know, and now Johnny Law's waiting for us after the show

I'm trying to quit but I just quit trying
So roll me a joint and I'll start flying
Made us laugh so hard that we both started crying
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying
I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying