[Verse 1]
Kiff: We were looking forward to our field trip at the aquarium
There was a little line
But we were feeling fine
Getting ready for a whale of a time
Barry: We were waiting
Then we waited some more
Trevor: Then more waiting, waiting
Inching closer to the door
Kiff, Barry, Trevor, Timmy Table and Darryn: We were patient
But then we were stunned (Billiam: Okay, go, go, go!)
When these blinged-out clowns
Cut straight to the front!
Kiff and Barry: No!
Why you gotta do us like that?
It wasn't very cool!

[Verse 2]
Kiff and Barry: Then we were sitting at the sea show
But we couldn't really see, no
Made our way down to the splash zone
So humble, we were so humble, whoa!
There was plenty of splash to share
But we were told to get lost by Tuft Pierre
Renée: You're too poor, be gone, dry child!
Kiff: The only thing that's poor is that hairstyle!
Barry: Oh... burn!
Trevor: Whoa! [laughs]
Timmy Table: [laughs] Kiff, you're our hero!
Tuft Pierre Poodle: I don't remember her saying that
[Verse 3]
Kiff: Okay, I didn't really say that
I only thought about it later on the drive back
Kiff, Barry and Timmy Table: We were just sick of 'em talking all of that smack
Being uncool, turning their noses up at Table Town School
So we said, "Whatcha all think about this?
Step right up and put your money where your mouth is!
Dance-off, dance-off, we want a dance-off!
Dance-off, dance-off, we want a dance-off!
We'll settle this once and for all, with a dance-off!
Our principal versus yours in a dance-off!"

[Bridge]
Roy Fox: Cue the interview
Principal Secretary interview clip: "I just have a few humble words to say about how far I've come... thanks to give, to someone without whom I wouldn't be standing here today. My... two... incredible legs. Their moves are going to blow your minds."
Principal Secretary: No! Helen, Helen, I recorded that earlier!
Helen: [grumbles]
Principal Secretary: Uh, Helen? Uh, I'm not built for this! [screams and stammers]
Ah! [screams and stammers]
Helen: That'll teach him!
Tuft Pierre Poodle, Tuft Pierre Duck and Tuft Pierre Horse: [all laugh]
Principal Secretary: [groans in pain]
Kiff: What have I done?
Everyone! I have something huge and terrible to confess. We didn't beat Tuft Pierre fair and square
Camerawoman: Want me to cut to commercial?
Roy Fox: No, no, keep rolling. This is good stuff
Kiff: We used magic socks, okay? We cheated. I'm sorry
[Verse 4]
Kiff: I wanted to prove that we were better than them
I roped you in, and I didn't care
They really got to me
I couldn't let things be
We didn't need to cheat
We already had them beat, 'cause...

[Chorus]
Kiff: We got character, we got pride
And that's something that money can't buy!
We got character, we got pride
And that's something that money can't buy!

[Bridge]
Kiff: I mean, who cares if this guy can't dance? He's not a dancer! He—he's a principal! A principal who organizes humble field trips and makes the most of them. And, and does other things that principals do... I dunno, safety vest stuff? Pencils? I'd rather go to a school filled with real people where, where the beautiful drama teacher helps a principal who in no way can dance... like, whatsoever, at all! So sing with me!
(Background singers: We got character, we got pride, and that's something that money can't buy! (×4))

[Chorus]
Kiff, Reggie, Trevor, Renée, Barry, Timmy Table, Candle, Helen and Principal Secretary:
We got character, we got pride
And that's something that money can't buy!
Roy Fox and camerawoman:
We got character, we got pride
Nice Old Singer and Dusty Acres residents:
And that's something that money can't buy!
Biker Lady and Fender Bender Menders:
We got character, we got pride
Kiff and others: And that's something that money can't buy!
(Bad Boy, Meathead, Mystery Lad, Nice Guy and Party Girl: [all cheer])
We got character, we got pride
And that's something that money can't buy! (Principal Swan: I resign.)
We got character, we got pride, (Tuft Pierre Poodle: What?)
And that's something that money can't buy! (Gerard: I also resign.)
We got character, we got pride, (Camerawoman: Hey, that's the witch from the incident!)
And that's something that money can't buy! (Renée: Witch incident?)
We got character, we got pride, (Helen: [squeals])
And that's something that money can't buy!
We got character, we got pride, (Roy Fox: Well, thanks to everyone for tuning into this epic mid-season event of Dancing on the Tables! Goodnight, folks! And remember: dance like all of Table Town's watching.)
And that's something that money can't buy!
We got character, we got pride
And that's something that money can't buy!
We got character, we got pride
And that's something that money can't buy!