[Verse 1]
You've spent too much time sat in your bedroom on your PC
Are you sure that you couldn't have found the time?
Swallowed your pride, admitted your jealousy?
Well, next week, you'll be trying again
To pull one of my city's many front men
If you didn't have the internet, would you be into them?
I very much doubt so and they know so

[Chorus]
What took you so long?
Was there a queue at the post office?
What took you so long?
Was there a dirty double-decker Stagecoach
You just happened to miss?

[Verse 2]
You're always bad and you're always rotten
And then you always say things that you just
Should have forgotten about people and things
Do you know who I am?
I'm like a Morrissey with some strings

[Chorus]
What took you so long?
Was there a queue at the post office?
What took you so long?
Was there a dirty double-decker Stagecoach
You just happened to miss?
[Refrain]
You're always bad and you're always rotten
And then you always say things that you just
Should have forgotten, or have you had enough
Of your stereotypical bit of the rough?

[Chorus]
What took you so long?
Was there a queue at the post office?
What took you so long?
Was there a dirty double-decker Stagecoach
You just happened to miss?