The Nostalgia Critic
That Kind of Song
(Elisa:) It's weird
We're so used to hearing that kind of song

(Paw:) And, yet, when you think about it logically
It's so obviously wrong

(Elisa:) In real life, it can take so much time just to find a good guy

(Paw:) In real life, it can be really hard just to tell someone... "Hi..."

(Elisa:) But in a musical, courtships don't take long

(Paw:) Because in a musical, who cares about logic
When people can break into song?

(Elisa:) Right...

(Paw:) Right...

[Both sigh]

(Elisa:) In real life, there's no guy who could capture my heart with one glance

(Paw:) In real life, how could one chance encounter lead straight to romance?

(Elisa/ Paw:) Wouldn't that be stupid?
Wouldn't that be lame?
(Elisa:) A hasty hello

(Paw:) And they're ready to go

(Elisa/ Paw:) Pick their first baby's name

(Paw:) Paul Junior

(Elisa:) Vlad

(Elisa/ Paw:) What if we were in that kind of song?
We'd look like a pair of fools

[Video-only line:]
(Puppeteer, Kermit the Frog voice:) So I hear you guys are in love... Why aren't you saying anything?

(Elisa/ Paw:) Looking into each other's eyes
Reflecting like radiant, wonderful, beautiful, wonderful pools

(Elisa:) You'd be a dashing young hero

(Paw:) And you'd be the intriguing ingenue

(Elisa/ Paw:) In a way, you have to love that kind of song

(Elisa/ Paw:) 'Cos that's how I feel about yooooouuuuu