(Rachel:) When all the angst is too much to take
Comic relief can give you a break

(Malcolm:) But who to pick to shell out the laughs without appearing lame or half-assed?

(Rachel:) When you need two Brits
Seasoned and legit
Both crazier than shit
There's one pick for it

(Malcolm:) Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter
Want a spare with crazy hair? Well, here's a starter

(Rachel:) Both a little nutty, and often very slutty
You want to see variety? Well, too bad, buddy

(Malcolm:) No need for a big audition
Needn't look all over town
They can really phone it in
When Mr. Burton's not around

(Rachel:) Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter
If you make it easier, they won't try harder

(Malcolm:) Grab a costume and throw 'em in a room
They get a tacky giggle and the plot resumes
(Rachel/ Malcolm:) There's no point in trying to hate them
They'll just come back with much more ardor

(Rachel:) They become their own cliché

(Malcolm:) At least it gets them stable pay

(Rachel/ Malcolm:) So give a hearty "What the hey?"
Today, the players known as
Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter!
Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter!