[Intro]
In a tiny inner city pub
The amps were bein' stacked
Leads were gettin' wound up
It was full of pissed Anzacs
"Got no more gigs for Tuesday nights"
Said the barman to the star
"We're puttin' pokies in the lounge
And strippers in the bar"
The star, he raised his fingers and said
"Fuck this fuckin' hole!"
But to his faithful roadie, he said
"It's the death of rock and roll"

[Verse 1]
"There ain't a single place that's left
To play amplified guitar
Every place is serving long blacks
Or has become a Tapas bar"
His dirty denim jacket
Was gaffered and turnin' black
Hair was missin' on his forehead
But it reached right down his back
"I don't blame that barman bastard"
He told his roadie, "Hey, fuck no"
"I blame all those faggot wankers
Who are playing this techno"
'Brothers Can Work It Out'? Get fucked
That can kiss my rotten arse
Work out what happened to real music
Is what I'd like to ask
Everythin' is all machine
Run with MIDI and A-DAT
But all they do is go 'ping-ping-ping'
Like a truck that's backin' back
Who the fuck are the Chemical Brothers
That they now call the shots?
Goldie is the name of a light beer
Elastica holds up socks
The roadie sat there silent
Next to the ejaculating star
"What's the fuckin' point of drum 'n' bass
If no one can play guitar?"
[Chorus]
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero

[Verse 2]
"Have you seen those fuckin' clubbers
With their peroxided dreads
Dressed up in fucking Adidas
Like fucking fucked fuckheads?
I wouldn't drop a tab of 'E'
If you fuckin' paid me, man
I've got the guts for LSD
And the only jungle I know was 'Nam"
His roadie sat, still silent
But then he finally began to speak
"Actually, Star, I maybe should've
Told you this last week
But I scored a job as DJ
At the latest techno club
I'm sick of workin' with a loser
See ya later, bub"
Well, the roadie owned the PA
And the roadie owned the ute
And the roadie told Star to get out
Or he'd bash one up his chute
And there on that cold freeway
Star walked along alone
Of course, he'd been kicked out halfway between
Emergency telephones
[Chorus]
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
(What a man, what a man, what a man)

[Verse 3]
"Fuck youse all," said Star aloud
In the emergency stopping lane
"To quote from that chick Juliet
'Hey, what's in a name?'
A good song's just a good song
Just the same as long ago
But dress it up as something new
And suddenly you're Picasso
Every white, bald Pommy cunt
Thinks that you're so hip
Read NME from ten years ago
And there's all the same dickslip
Prodigy are just the band
Who are gettin' it this year
Rolling Stone's got no more cred
Than fuckin' New Idea"
Star's anguished voice rose in grief
As he cried unto the moon
"In the end, when all is said and done
A tune's just a fuckin' tune"
Star played his amp far too loud
His hearing was sorta gone
So he never heard the grinding squeal
As the truckie put the brakes on
Twenty-six road train wheels
Played a tune upon his head
"He just wandered into the traffic"
The distraught driver said
The cops had seen it all before
The ambos washed the freeway clean
There ain't no contest when you put
A man against a machine
[Chorus]
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero
Aussie
Aussie guitar hero