[Verse 1]
Been crucified by all the scribes
You can't see our backs for all the knives
The critics have done all they could
Fair enough, we're just no good
We've tried our best, no excuse
You come to realise that it's just no use
It's about time everybody understood
One simple fact, we're just no good

[Verse 2]
This latest effort, it's pretty drab
Try Died Pretty, they're always fab
Turn off the radio, I know I would
Let's just face it – we're no good
It's about time that a rock band spoke
Admitted that they were a joke
We'll be the first in the neighbourhood
To say without a doubt, we're no good

[Chorus]
No good, no good, good, good
We'll be the first in the neighbourhood
No good, good, good

[Verse 3]
Possibly then, we could get Sting
Admitting to his piss-ant thing
When Dunsinane gets to Burnam Wood
That's when he'll say, "I'm no good" (no good)
Now Bono, take the stand
This time, forget your band
Morality's your daily food
Why don't you preach, "I'm no good"?
[Chorus]
No good, no good, good, good
Morality's your daily food
No good, good, good

[Verse 4]
Just before we run out of time
That last verse contained an eye rhyme
And I feel that I should
Point out that it wasn't good
The singer mucked up the song
The guitarist got it wrong
The bassist in all likelihood
Is like the drummer, they're both no good

[Chorus]
We're no good, not very good, good
Just no good
No good, good, good
No good, no good, good, good
Just no good
No good, good, good

[Outro]
You wouldn't be talking to me except I'm in TISM
I'm mediocre, I got moss on my teeth
I'm a boring person, I'm not witty, I'm nothing
And you're still talking to me
Don't tell me you wouldn't talk to me
I'm not worth talking to