Darren Criss
Ready to Go
[JAIME]
Look at me, with my pigtails so tight
You'd think that I might explode, right?
Look at me, with my arms in a twist
Not alarming I missed the right road
It's not too late to turn around
And find a better way
It's not up to fate to lay the groundwork
For a better day

I gotta
Shake it up
Put your hair down darlin'
You really need to unwind
I gotta
Pick it up
'Cause my life is calling
Me on the other line

It's time to start over
And today is like
The first day of the year!

So get that chip off my shoulder!
'Cause it's weighing me down
And keeping you right here
I want to get out
See the great big world out there
It's time to set out
'Cause I feel
There's something in the air
I might be losing my mind
But there's one thing that I know:
That I'm finally ready
So ready to go!

[JOEY]
Hey, Dick, does my hair look alright?

[JOE]
Hell yeah, buddy
You're a sight to see

[JOEY, spoken]
'Kay good

(sung)
Listen up
Just try to relax
'Cause a mishap's
The last thing I need

I wanna rise up
To the next level
Get off this middle ground

I've got this yearning
Burnin' like the devil
I'm here for the rebound
Pass the ball
I know I'm on fire!

[JOE]
Yeah, yeah
You're on a roll!

[JOEY, spoken]
I know!

[JOE]
What do you want
From your kingdom, sire?

[JOEY]
I wanna take control

[JOEY & JOE]
Hyo!

[JOEY]
I need a brand new game plan
No more warming benches
Like I've done before

[JOE]
Get your head in the game, man
(spoken)
Here's what I'm thinking-

[JOEY]
Shit, she's comin'
Out that door!

[JOEY & JOE]
Ahhh!
Ahhh!

[JOEY]
Say yes, Vanessa
Yes, I must confess of my obsession
With your design
I will not rest
No, not unless
I find a way to make you mine

[JOEY & JOE sigh]

[JOEY]
I'm gonna get her
If it's the last thing
That I do!

[JOE]
But just remember
You can't get her

[JOEY & JOE]
Without you/me too!

So buckle up, all you amateurs
'Cause today were goin' pro
We're finally ready
Yeah!
So ready to go!

[MEREDITH, spoken]
Hello?

[LAUREN]
Hey Vaness
OMG, would you guess
That I'm not wearing undies today?

[MEREDITH]
Eww
Oh, Tiff
LOL, what's the diff?
You would still
Take them off anyway

[LAUREN]
IKR

[MEREDITH]
BTW

[MEREDITH & LAUREN]
Where are you right now?

[LAUREN]
We need to talk

[MEREDITH]
Oh, I totes see you!

[MEREDITH & LAUREN]
BRB, Ciao, ciao!

[DYLAN, spoken]
How's ya doin', Flopsy?

[BRIAN, spoken]
Oh hey there, you Old Snatch!

[DYLAN]
When you've been around
The block as much as I have
You feel just like a CEO

[BRIAN, spoken]
Oh, how's that? That must feel nice!

[DYLAN]
You see, I'm done with all these cocks
But they're not lettin' me retire!
I tell ya, I'm ready to go!

[BRIAN]
Well, it's like living the same way
That an old pair of shoes do
Everyday's a one man show!

They start to stink, and then there's holes
And they don't fit the way they used to!
I've had it! I'm ready to go!

[DYLAN, spoken]
Look at us!

(sung)
We're just a couple of stiffs

[BRIAN, spoken]
Ha! Now you're just being cute!

[DYLAN]
With a lifetime of "if's"

[BRIAN, spoken]
Oh, don't be so hard on us!

[DYLAN]
And I wonder
With someone else
Could life be more fair?

[BRIAN, spoken]
Yeah! I mean it's not like...

(sung)
We're some one-dick pony

[DYLAN, spoken]
Oh, now who's being cute?

[BRIAN]
We could be more if only

[DYLAN & BRIAN]
Someone out there
Would answer our prayer!

While's... we's...
Wait to be delivered
Go ahead, cry me a river
We agree that there's
No quid pro quo!

[BRIAN]
So until that great vacation...

[DYLAN, spoken]
Save your tears for lubrication!

[DYLAN & BRIAN]
And lord have mercy
Are we ready to go!
Mercy, are we ready to...
Go...

[LAUREN]
Listen up!
Vanessa, sweetie
I do this 'cause I care

[MEREDITH, spoken]
I know

[LAUREN]
This is war
Forget your peace treaty
Justice is right over there!

[MEREDITH]
I guess I could use a new guy
'Cause it's been a while
And I am still so young

Why not give it a try?
At the very least it
Could be kinda fun

[LAUREN]
Hey now, Vanessa
There's the girl
I know and love

[MEREDITH titters]

[MEREDITH]
I've been so boring
Boy, I'm glad
I had a little shove!

[MEREDITH & LAUREN]
Tick, tock
While the iron's hot
There's no time
To take it slow

You gotta be ready
So ready to-

[ALL]
Go
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
I'm ready to go
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
I'm ready to go
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
I'm ready to go
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

We're finally ready
And the time is right
For us to light a spark

We're keepin' it steady
With our eyes on the prize
To get us through the dark

I know there's so much more
To what I think I see
I feel a change and the
Strange thing is
It's part of me

My hormones are freakin' out
And I think I'm gonna blow!

[JOEY & JOE]
We're locked and loaded!

[JAIME]
Oh, so devoted!

[DYLAN & BRIAN]
Low and demoted!

[MEREDITH & LAUREN]
Totes just toted!

[ALL]
We're finally ready
So ready to go!