Darren Criss
Me and My Dick/Ready to Go (Live)
[Jungle noises]

[JOEY]
I wake up in the morning
And it's nothing new
Run through my mind for hours
Still, I just want you

You're all I want, you're all I need
My love for you
Just grows the way you do
When I love you

I wanna hold you all night long
And cuddle 'till we're blue
I'll hold you in a tight embrace
I know it seems taboo

But I have to have you with me now
I have to have you quick
I love you more than anything
My-

[JOE, spoken]
Joey?
[JOEY]
Hi, Joe!

[JOE]
Hey there, my friend! Are you out here singing again?

[JOEY]
I sure am!

[JOE]
I thought we talked about that?

[JOEY]
I knooow!

[JOE]
Thanks!

[Joe loudly spits out piss-water.][JOE]
I like being with you

And you like being with me 
[JOEY]
I like being with you

You like being with me[JOE & JOEY]
We're just the best of friends
As anyone can see
People say it's quite unlikely
The two of us should stick
But I just tell them
"Hey! It's me and my-"

[BRIAN BRIAN H, spoken]
Fellas?! Ah-

[JOE]
Hey, Brian!

[BRIAN H]
Thank God you guys are alright! I had a terrible dream, we're on an island, there were dinosaurs, and everyone got eaten!

[BRIAN H spits out piss-water.][BRIAN H]
We'll stick together

Fight through thick and thin 
[JOE & JOEY]
We'll stick together

Fight through thick and thin[BRIAN H, JOE & JOEY]
If we stay side by side
There's no way we can't win[BRIAN H]
Any girl that's out there

Any girl at all 
[JOE & JOEY]
Any girl that's out there

Any girl at all[BRIAN H, JOE & JOEY]
When she gets going with us
She's sure to have a ball!

[BRIAN H, spoken]
Ha ha... careful with that joke, fellas!

[JOE & JOEY]
...Why?

[BRIAN H, JOE & JOEY, sung]
People say, how do you do it?
How can you be so slick?
But I just tell them, "Hey!
It's me and my-"

[JAIME, spoken]
Morning, campers!

[BRIAN H, JOE & JOEY]
Oh, hey, Jaime!

[JAIME, sung]
Look at me, with my pigtails so tight
You'd think that I might explode, right?
Look at me, with my arms in a twist
Not alarming I missed the right road

[LAUREN]
It's not too late to turn around
And find a better way
It's not up to fate to lay the groundwork
For a better day

You gotta
Shake it up
Let your hair down, darlin'
You really need to unwind

[JAIME]
I gotta
Pick it up
'Cause my life is callin'
Me on the other line

[MEREDITH, spoken]
Morning, girls!

(sung)
It's time to start over
And today is like
The first day of the year

So get that chimp off my shoulder!
'Cause it's weighing me down
And keeping me right here

[JAIME, LAUREN, &MEREDITH]
I want to get out
See the great big world out there

It's time to set out
'Cause I feel
There's something in the air

I might be losing my mind
But there's one thing that I know:
That I'm finally ready
So ready to go!

[BRIAN R, spoken]
Best dressed again, I see! Hah!

[DYLAN]
Not so fast!

[BRIAN R, sung]
Hey, Dyl, does my hair look alright?

[DYLAN]
Hell yeah, buddy
You're a sight to see

[BRIAN R, spoken]
'Kay good

(sung)
Listen up
Just try to relax
'Cause a mishap's
The last thing I need

I wanna rise up to the next level
Get off this middle ground
I've got this yearning, burnin' like the devil
I'm here for the rebound

Pass the ball
I know I'm on fire!

[DYLAN]
Yeah, yeah
You're on a roll!

[BRIAN R, spoken]
I know!

[DYLAN, sung]
What do you want
From your kingdom, sire?

[BRIAN R]
I wanna take control
Yeah!

I need a brand new game plan
No more warming benches
Like I've done before

[DYLAN]
Just get your head in the game, man!
Here's what I'm thinking-

[BRIAN R]
Shit, she's comin' out that door!
I'm gonna get her
If it's the last thing
That I do

[DYLAN]
But just remember
You can't get her

[BRIAN R & DYLAN]
Without me too!

So buckle up, all you amateurs
'Cause today were going pro
We're finally ready
So ready to-

[ALL]
Go
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
I'm ready to go
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
I'm ready to go
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
I'm ready to go
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

We're finally ready
And the time is right
For us to light a spark

We're keepin' it steady
With our eyes on the prize
To get us through the dark

I know there's so much more
To what I think I see
I feel a change and the strange thing is
It's part of me

My hormones are freakin' out
And I think I'm gonna blow!

[BRIAN H & JOEY]
We're locked and loaded...

[JAIME & BRIAN R]
Oh, so devoted...

[DYLAN & JOE]
Low and demoted...

[LAUREN & MEREDITH]
Totes just toted!

[ALL]
We're finally ready
So ready to go!

People say it's quite unlikely
The two of us should stick
But I just tell them, "Hey!"

[JOEY]
It's me and my-

(spoken)
Dylan!

[DYLAN]
Hey! It's me and it's Meredith!

[MEREDITH]
Hahaho! It's me and it's Jaime!

[JAIME]
Hoohoo, fun! Umm... it's me and it's Walker!

[JOE]
Heh-hey! It's me and it's Lopez!

[LAUREN]
Hey! Haha! It's me and it's B-Hole!

[BRIAN H]
Now we're havin' fun! It's me and it's Brian!

[BRIAN R]
Hey, guys, thanks for inviting me along!

[ALL]
It's me and it's... us!