[Intro]
Duh Herro? I selling shwimp fwied why… Five dollar. Egg Roll? Five dollar. Oh you want more shwimp? Five dollar, Haha!

[Verse 1]
My name is Dr. Chopstick Ying Kung Pow, and I like to eat buffet, (do do doo, doo, dooooo!)
My mom and dad will karate chop me in the penis, if I don’t bring home all A’s (do do doo, doo, dooooo!)
We’re all Chinese, we’re all half blind, that’s why none of us can’t drive, keep crashing on the highway (do do doo, doo, dooooo!)
So if you see me on the side changing my tires, don’t be surprised, at least I made it out of the driveway (Do do doo, doo, dooooo!)

[Chorus]
This is the Asian people song, so everybody sing along
Ching chong, ching chong (Ching chong ching chong)
This is the Asian people song, so everybody sing along
Ching chong, ching chong (Wing wong, ting tong)

[Verse 2]
I like to make shwimp Fwied Wy, I know I look high with my slanted eyes, does it mean that I smoke? (I will smoke cats though, on a grill)
My career is usually Asian cuisine, or any job that involves wearing a lab coat, (like every doctor and scientist ever)
I pee pee shrimp lo mein, and I boo boo video games, with my Nintendo booty (seriously, we make like, the best video games in the world)
Yes, we all look the same, it’s like Jackie Chan and Liu Kang are in every Kung Fu Movie!

[Chorus]
This is the Asian People song, so everybody sing along
Ching Chong, Ching Chong (ching chong ching chong)
This is the Asian People song, so everybody sing along
Ching Chong, Ching Chong (wing wong, ting tong)
[Interlude]
Hey, how much is gonna be for two pieces of chicken. “Two piece chicken? Five dollar.” Oh okay… “One piece chicken, five dollar.” Wait, what? “Fork?? Five dollar.” Hold on now…. "Everything five dollar.”
You’re doing too much now...

[Verse 3]
Um…. Chinese food always have me like, “I want mo',”
Cuz Asians practice Tae Kwon Do
On cats, yep, we be karate chopping kittens
And then we take ‘em to the kitchen to make Kung Pow Chicken
And mittens, Ching chong, ching
My penis is the size of a pinto bean
They call me Spongebob, and I don’t know why
Probably because we’re both yellow and we can’t drive

[Chorus]
This is the Asian People song, so everybody sing along
Ching Chong, Ching Chong (ching chong ching chong)
This is the Asian People song, so everybody sing along
Ching Chong, Ching Chong (wing wong, ting tong)

[Outro]
“Oooohh, my penis is so small!”
“I wanna stab you with a chopstick right now!”
“I’m gonna roundhouse kick you back to Tokyo!"