The Vandals
My First Xmas as a Woman
[Refrain]
Fa la, la, la, la, la, la
Fa la, la, la, la, la, la
Wah-ooh, wah-wah-ooh

[Intro]
With Christmas upon us, it's time to be honest
Follow my dreams and to face
A life of delusion and gender confusion
That no longer will be the case

[Verse 1]
I never wanted army men or basketballs
I only wanted pantyhose and Barbie dolls
And dressing up in mother's clothing

[Verse 2]
My whole life I've been feeling only feminine
It always seemed so useless trying to be a man
Now that's a ghost of Christmas past

[Chorus 1]
And now it feels like the very first time
'Cause it's going to be the very first time
That Christmas feels right to me
And I know that I'm looking good
Just like a real girl should
It's my first Christmas as a woman
[Verse 3]
Yeah, a doctor reconstructed all my genitals
And now I'm waiting underneath the mistletoe
For a guy who could love a girl like me

[Chorus 2]
I took the hormones and I got my breasts
This season's gonna be the best to me
I won't have to tuck it behind me
Since I got my brand new vaginy
It's my first Christmas as a woman

[Bridge]
Chop if off, chop if off, chop if off, my penis, chop it off
It's no use to me
Cut it off, chop it off, chop it off, my penis, cut it off
So I can finally be a woman!

[Verse 4]
Now I'm finally happy 'cause I made my goal
To be a post-operative transsexual
Now I am a pretty lady

[Chorus 3]
Now it feels like the very first time
'Cause it's going to be the very first time
That Christmas feels right to me
'Cause I know that I'm looking good
Just like a real girl should
It's my first Christmas as a woman