Rivers Cuomo
El Scorch Shot
[Spoken Intro]
El Scorch Shot
Ay carriba!

[Verse 1]
Goddamn you gas mask-wearing girls
Do it to me every time
Oh, the RED teams dead, she sweeps the server
With Phlogistinators
But on respawn, I'm not free from the heat
’Cause on the other team, a Pyro's flaming me
Why you gotta go and do me like that?
Puttin' on a weapon with no right-clicking

[Chorus]
We’re on the same team, so please
Hello, I'm here and I'm waitin'
I will die of afterburn
If you don't rescue me

[Verse 2]
I asked you to go to the Weezer concert
You said you never heard of them (how cool is that?)
How cool is that?
So I went to your page and checked out what you're playin':
20 hours nonstop, probably a Dustbowl server
And then my heart stopped:
Zero hours in Firewatch
That's fuckin’ irony there, isn’t— AHHHHHHHHHH!
[Chorus]
We're on the same team, so please
Hello, I’m here and I'm waitin'
I will die of afterburn
If you don't rescue me

[Bridge]
How stupid is it?
I just need one extinguish
I gotta plead her for it
All at the top of my burnin’ lungs
How stupid is it?
Won't you give me a minute?
Just come up to me and hear the words that I've sung
How stupid is it?
For all I know, you're fairly new
And maybe you just don't know what to do
Or maybe you're scared to say: "I broke my M2"

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
I wish she would just step off the objective
'Cause I think we'd make a great team
My heart burns for her, literally (haha)
But that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize
'Cause I can't even finish my fights without hurting, and now I'm asserting
I'll kill all the Spies if you stop all the burning
[Chorus]
We're on the same team, so please
Hello, I'm here and I'm waitin'
I will die of afterburn
If you don't rescue me

[Outro]
Pyro, I need you (Pyro, I need you)
Pyro, I need you
And I'm waitin'
How have you not figured out
That airblast is a thing?
And that is how you do it *click*