HARPER:
BUT NOW I GUESS YOU’RE YOUR OWN PERSON

JANELLE:
YES I GUESS I’M MY OWN PERSON

HARPER:
WITH YOUR INDIVIDUAL THOUGHTS

JANELLE:
I HAVE INDIVIDUAL THOUGHTS

HARPER:
NOT MY PLAYTHING

JANELLE:
NOT YOUR PLAYTHING

HARPER:
NOT MY SIDEKICK

JANELLE:
NOT YOUR SIDEKICK

HARPER:
SO YOU DON’T NEED ME ANYMORE?
JANELLE:
Well...

HARPER:
Oh Janelle...
I KNOW I NEED YOU
AND I KNOW YOU NEED ME
AND MAYBE YOU NEED ME
A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN I NEED YOU
BUT THAT’S OKAY TOO

BOTH:
BECAUSE SO LONG AS I NEED YOU
AND SO LONG AS YOU NEED ME
NOTHING CAN CHANGE US
OR CHALLENGE OUR POINT OF VIEW
SO PROMISE YOU’LL BE TRUE

HARPER:
AND THAT YOU’LL ALWAYS BE HERE WHEN I WANT YOU TO
AND YOU’LL ALWAYS GO AWAY I’M SICK OF YOU
SING TO ME
CLING TO ME
BUT NOT TOO CLOSE
I WILL MAKE THE RULES
ABOUT WHAT’S NICE AND WHAT’S GROSS
IT’S A DELICATE BALANCE
THIS SYMBIOTIC TUG OF WAR
BETWEEN THE QUEEN AND HER SUBJECTS
BETWEEN ENDURED AND ADORED
JANELLE:
EVERYBODY HAS THEIR NEEDS

HARPER:
BUT SOME PEOPLE’S NEEDS
ARE NEEDIER THAN OTHERS

JANELLE:
I NEED YOU AND YOU NEED ME

HARPER:
BUT THE ANNOYING NEED
IS THE KIND OF NEED THAT SMOTHERS

JANELLE:
But do you think maybe he kind of likes me?

HARPER:
Why do you need him to like you?
I’m sure he likes you as much as half the other girls he’s slept with

JANELLE:
It’s not that many...

ROYSHANNA & NICKI:
Hi Cyrus!
HARPER:
You all think you can save him from his own grief

CYRUS:
I DON’T NEED ANYONE TO SAVE ME
I DON’T DESERVE IT

HARPER:
But you’re just using her!
HE NEEDS YOU TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL GUILTY
AND HE NEEDS YOU TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL NUMB
AND YOU NEED HIM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL SEXY
AND YOU NEED HIM SO YOU DON’T FEEL SO DUMB
AND HE NEEDS ME TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL HAUNTED
AND YOU NEED ME TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL WANTED

NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY
NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY

ALL THREE:
NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY
NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY

JANELLE:
So you’re saying if Cyrus and I are dating by Prom we can go in on a limo with you?

HARPER:
I’m saying he’ll never be beholden to you because he’s still in love with his ex-girlfriend, and has a deep need for auto-masochism

CYRUS:
It’s not an ex if we were still dating at the time

DAKOTA:
At the time of what?

ROGER:
She’s dead. Crushed in a car crash. Right after they had a fight

DAKOTAL
I didn’t hear about this

ROGER:
Really? Someone even got suspended for creating these t-shirts with her photo that said PANCAKE ANGEL

DAKOTA:
Oh. That’s dark

HARPER:
What do you need a boyfriend for anyway? I should be enough

JANELLE:
Yeah! I mean, okay. I mean...I don’t know

HARPER:
Besides, a relationship is not what you need right now

JANELLE:
Oh, yeah, totally

HARPER:
WHAT YOU NEED ARE QUICK, FLEETING HOOKUPS

JANELLE:
QUICK, FLEETING HOOKUPS

HARPER:
DISPOSABLE SEXTING

JANELLE:
DISPOSABLE SEXTING

HARPER:
IRONIC DISTANCE

JANELLE:
IRONIC DISTANCE

HARPER:
IRONIC DISTANCE

JANELLE:
IRONIC DISTANCE

HARPER:
AND UNREALISTIC MEDIA BASED EXPECTATIONS

Also Kawaii Asian cute things

JANELLE:
Check! But, but... isn’t Sailor Moon in a serious monogamous relationship with Tuxedo Mask?

HARPER:
You’re not listening Janelle!

HE NEEDS YOU TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL GUILTY
AND HE NEEDS YOU TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL NUMB
AND YOU NEED HIM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL SEXY
AND YOU NEED HIM SO YOU DON’T FEEL SO DUMB
AND I NEED YOU TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL POWERFUL
AND I NEED HIM TO WIN THIS STUPID DANCE-A-THON

NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY
NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY

ALL THREE:
NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY
NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY