[Verse 1]
When I came back from Luang Prabang
I didn't have a thing where my balls used to hang
But I got a wooden medal and a fine harangue
Now I'm a fucking hero

[Chorus]
Mourn your dead, land of the free
If you wanna be a hero, follow me
Mourn your dead, land of the free
If you wanna be a hero, follow me

[Verse 2]
And now the boys all envy me
I fought for Christian democracy
With nothing but air where my balls used to be
Now I'm a fucking hero

[Chorus]
Mourn your dead, land of the free
If you wanna be a hero, follow me
Mourn your dead, land of the free
If you wanna be a hero, follow me

[Verse 3]
One and twenty cannons thundered
Into the bloody wild blue yonder
For a patriotic ballless wonder
Now I'm a fucking hero
[Chorus]
Mourn your dead, land of the free
If you wanna be a hero, follow me
Mourn your dead, land of the free
If you wanna be a hero, follow me

[Verse 4]
In Luang Prabang there is a spot
Where the corpses of your brothers rot
And every corpse is a patriot
And every corpse is a hero

[Chorus]
Mourn your dead, land of the free
If you wanna be a hero, follow me
Mourn your dead, land of the free
If you wanna be a hero, follow me