Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared
The Computer Song
[Intro: Red Guy, Duck & Yellow Guy]
Oh, I guess it's my turn to choose a card.  Let's see...
Hmm... "What is the biggest thing in the world?"
Hmm... that's a tricky one
A mountains... a sky... a windmill?
No!
If only there was a way to learn more about the world
Yes! If only there was some way to learn more information about this...
Wow, look!

[Verse 1: Computer & (Red Guy)]
I'm a computer, I'm a computery guy
Everything made out of buttons and wires
I'd like to show ya inside my digital life
Inside my mind there is a digital mind
(Oh, maybe you could help us answer this question; "What is the biggest thing-")

[Verse 2: Computer, Yellow Guy, Duck & Red Guy]
Clever, I'm very clevery guy
(Wow!)
Count to a 50 in the blink of my eye
And print a picture, and then I tell you the time
(Time?)
Help you to find something you're wanting to find
No, it's easy to be a clever smart boy like me
If you could do it all digitally!
Wow! I'd like to be as smart as a computer
Actually, we already have a computer
Great, great news!
[Bridge: Computer, Duck, Yellow Guy & Red Guy]
Now, before we begin our journey
I just need to get some information from you!
What's your name?
Where do you live?
What do you like to eat?
I live in my house
Spaghetti!
Well, my name is-
Great news!
Now just a few more questions and we'll be on our way!
Wait a second...
What's your favorite color?
Stop talking
Do you like cows' or goats' milk?
Be quiet
Do you have brown hair?
What is your blood type?
Are you allergic to-
Shut up!
DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEEEEEE!
What?

[a mishmash of digital noise and screams occurs as several dark scenes flash]

[Verse 3: Computer, Yellow Guy, Duck, Red Guy]
Welcome to my digital home
Everything made out of numbers and code
Whuh?
Wow, we're all computery!
Oh yeah!
Wow!
Wow!
Wow!
This is a computer
I don't get it
How can it be
If I'm sitting at home when I'm inside the screen?
But you're not you!
You're your digital you!
Virtually real, but controlled by real you
But if he's not quite real, then I'm not real, too!
And your not real you is inside your real you!
Oh, wow, how amazing and interesting, too
But in this digital world, what can we do?
...what can we do?!
Hey, good question!
Well, it's up to you
In the digital world, there's only three things to do
[Refrain: Yellow Guy, Duck & Computer]
Wow, look, a pie chart!
Digital style!
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Refrain: Yellow Guy, Duck & Computer]
Wow, look, a bar graph!
Digital style!
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Refrain: Yellow Guy, Duck & Computer]
Wow, look, a line graph!
Digital style!
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Refrain: Yellow Guy, Duck & Computer]
Wow, look, an oblong!
Digital style!
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Refrain: Yellow Guy, Duck & Computer]
Wow, look, nothing!
Digital style!
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!
[Refrain: Yellow Guy, Duck & Computer]
Nothing
Digital style!
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Refrain: Yellow Guy, Duck & Computer]
Nothing
Digital style!
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[Interlude: Duck & Computer]
Caw!
Do the digital dancing
Hey, this is fun!

[the speed quickens up until it's a blur]

[Outro: Yellow Guy (on the tape recorder) & Red Guy]
Now you're stupid one
I am going to paint a picture of a clown
My dad has a computer
You are not invited to the party
Wait, what?

[his head pops]