Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared
The Love Song
[Red Guy]
Isn't it nice to finally be outside on such a beautiful day?

[Duck]
Yes! And I've packed us a delicious chicken picnic!

[Yellow Guy]
Huh?

[a butterfly flies by Yellow Guy, and he laughs, full of joy at the sight]

[Duck]
*swats the butterfly, killing it* Pesky bee!

[A traumatized Yellow Guy runs away.]

[Red Guy]
Hmmmm, he seems upset about something. I wonder what will happen?

[Yellow Guy sits in the tree crying until he notices the butterfly above him]

[Shrignold]
It makes you sad, doesn't it?
That there's so much hatred in the world
I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question
[Yellow Guy]
A little baby pigeon

[Verse 1: Shrignold]
Have you ever wondered why we're here?
What's it all about? You've no idea
And everywhere you look, all you see is hatred
And darkness, death and fear
But you know it doesn't have to be
That I hate you, and you hate me
Cause even though we're different, it doesn't make a difference
And we can live in harmony!
No, you don't know who I am
But maybe I could hold your hand
And together we can understand about love!

[Yellow Guy]
Huh, I feel tingly!

[Shrignold]
Yes, that's love, my friend, and it's time for you to learn all about it! *giggles*

[Background singers]
Love is a place, love is a thing
Love is a place, love is a thing
Love is a place, love is a thing
Love is a place, love is a thing
[Verse 2: Shrignold]
And do you ever feel like life's unfair
Cause everybody hates you, and no one cares!
But if you follow me
Maybe you'll see
That love is everywhere!

[Yellow Guy]
What is love, is it in the sky?

[Cloud]
No, it's a feeling, deep inside

[Yellow Guy]
Because I'm hungry

[Shrignold]
No, you're lonely!
I can see it in your eyes

[Yellow Guy]
I don't understand

[Shrignold]
Don't worry! You will soon
Come and meet some of my friends; they know all about love
Come on, just over the rainbow!
[Duck]
Oh look, there he goes, flying through the sky

[Red Guy]
Maybe, we should follow him, or we'll get left behind

[Duck]
Yes, but there's lots of chicken left
And I'd like to eat the chicken!

[Red Guy]
I'd also like to eat the chicken; let's do that instead

[Verse 3: Shrignold]
So here we are with all my friends
And they love you, all of them!

[Rabbit]
Yes we do!

[Unicorn]
It is true!

[Purple Guy]
We love you!

[Beaver]
And you love us too!

[Yellow Guy]
*laughs* I love you too, furry boy

[Beaver]
*laughs* Harder!

[Red Guy]
Now we've eaten the chicken, I don't know what to do

[Duck]
Maybe we should look for our friend
Isn't that what friends do?
And we have finished the chicken picnic

[long pause]

[Verse 4: Shrignold]
To love each other is to care
To be kind!

[Flower]
And to share!

[Rabbit]
I love my friend so I give him a hug!

[Purple Guy]
I made this for you, cause I love you so much!

[Beaver]
I love my pet, cause he's a crab!

[Yellow Guy]
I love this tree and I love this stick and I love this mole

[Shrignold]
No no no, that's not how it's done
You must save your love for your special one

[Yellow Guy]
My special one?

[Unicorn]
Everyone has a special one!

[Yellow Guy]
Even me?
But I am lonely

[Shrignold]
Yes, it's true!
But do not worry
You're confused, but that's okay!
Let me put it another way

[Tree]
This is the story of Michael
The loneliest boy in town
*sings* This is the story of Michael
The ugliest boy in town
Ugly and weak
They called him a freak!

So he lived on his own, underground
He lived on his own, underground
He lived on his own, underground

[Shrignold]
You see, everyone has a special one

[Rabbit]
Even Michael!

[Verse 5: Shrignold]
Your heart beats hard like a big love drum
Calling for your special one

[Rabbit]
So be patient! Cause just maybe

[Love-Cult]
Your special one will come

[Beaver]
He's made for her!

[Unicorn]
And she's made for him!

[Rabbit]
That's the way its always been!

[Beaver]
And it's perfect!

[Purple Guy]
And it's pure!

[Shrignold]
And it's protected with a ring!

[Tree]
That's the way that all love goes

[Unicorn]
Like a flower it grows and grows!

[Purple Guy]
And it's forever

[Sunflower]
And forever

[Shrignold]
And now we all worship our king

[Love-Cult]
Our king!

[Yellow Guy]
Huh?

[Love-Cult]
Our king!

[Shrignold]
His name is Malcolm

[Love-Cult]
Our king!

[Beaver]
He is the king of love

[Love-Cult]
Our king!

[Unicorn]
We must feed him

[Love-Cult]
Our king!

[Rabbit]
We must feed him gravel

[Love-Cult]
Our king!

[Shrignold]
Or he becomes angry

[Love-Cult]
Our king!

[Malcolm]
Mmm, gravel!

[Love-Cult]
Our king!

[Verse 6]
(Love-Cult continues singing "Our king!" in the background)

[Shrignold]
And this is your chance to start anew!
And all we're asking you to do

[Rabbit]
Is change your name

[Beaver]
And clean your brain

[Shrignold]
And forget anything about you ever knew!

[Unicorn]
And your heart will find its home

[Yellow Guy's Special One]
And our love will never go!

[Shrignold]
Now wear this ring

[Love-Cult]
And join the king!

[Shrignold]
And you will never be alone

[Yellow Guy wakes up from that nightmare, traumatized and looking down at Red Guy and Duck.]

[Red Guy]
Oh, there you are
We've been looking for you all afternoon

[Duck]
We're sorry we upset you
But look
We've bought you the last boiled egg
To cheer you up!

[Red Guy]
I guess it must be because we LOVE you

[Yellow Guy]
For me?

[The boiled egg hatches to reveal a caterpillar that looks eerily similar to Shrignold]

[Caterpillar]
Father!

[Duck]
*swats the caterpillar, killing it* Pesky bee!

[End Credits]