Rachel Bloom
Settle For Me (Acapella)
[RACHEL, spoken]
Okay, this is a rough of "Settle For Me" all the way through. Uh... temp melody for the intro verse. 

(sung)
When we're together
I feel so grand
My heart goes tippity-tap-tap-tap
When I hold your hand
But I know there's another guy
You fancy more
So, even though
I'm not the one you adore
Why not...

(spoken)
And I'll go an octave up—

(sung)
Settle for me
Darling, just settle for me
You have to agree
We make quite a pair
I know I'm second place in this game
But like two-percent milk
Or seitan beef
I almost taste the same
Settle for me
Come on and settle for me
Say yes or no before I choke on all this swallowed pride
I have no problem being picked out from the bottom
If he's your broken condom, I'm Plan B!
So lower those expectations and settle for me

'Cause I'm totally okay with this!

Settle for me
Babycakes, just settle for me
Schmoopy-pie, can't you see the light?
Cookie—, I'm so bereft
Demeaning terms are all that I have left
Of my masculinity

Little girl
Don't make me feel like a little girl
Exposed and raw
Whose boobs can't even fill a training bra
I don't like where this train of thought is going!

Settle for me
—I'll settle for you
Settle for me
—You're selling past the clothes
He’s a fantasy
That fact I get
Yeah, Josh is a dream, but I’m right here
In flesh and blood and self-hate
So settle for me
In a sad way, darling, it’s fate
(spoken)
And then there's a dance break. And then in the middle of the dance break, at some point:

(sung)
I don't expect much sex

(spoken)
Something like that, dance break goes on. I wanna do Fred and Ginger dancing mixed with some soft shoe mixed with some real tap dancing. Uh... we stop at a certain point to fart 'cause they're at a taco festival. Okay, so then the dance break continues. Then:

(sung)
You're Step Up 2
Solange to Beyoncé
Not asking to be your fiancé
Just asking you to consider
Just for tonight
Or maybe, for the rest of our lives
(spoken)
That was too much, sorry—
(sung)
To settle for me!

(spoken)
Something like that.