Rachel Bloom
Maybe This Dream
[PAULA]
When I was a little girl
I felt like a princess
So naïve and full of hope
I thought my dreams would come true
But then as I grew
The world was all like...
(SHE giggles.) Nope
(spoken)
But this time, maybe, just maybe…
(sung)
Maybe this dream won’t lead to disgrace
Maybe this dream is in reach
Maybe this dream won’t poop on my face
Like a seagull at the beach
Maybe this dream won’t be like my wedding
The organ played, There goes the bride
(spoken)
I came back
(sung)
Maybe this dream won’t be like some maggots
Feasting on the rotting deer carcass of my pride

(SHE vocalizes.)[PAULA]
Maybe this dream won’t be like my vibrator
Breaking when I need it most

Maybe this dream won’t be like Ebola
Eating the flesh of its host


Maybe this dream
Won’t be like
When I go running
And I have to take a dump
So I have to rush home
Plus I also have my period
So I have menstrual cramps plus dump cramps
And as I run frantically
I pee just a little
Because I’ve had two babies
So by the time I get home
My undies smell like a sewer rat

Maybe this dream won’t be like that 


[TIM]
Tweedle deedle dee!

[JIM]
Tweedle deedle doo!
[TIM AND JIM]
Tweet tweet
Tweet tweet
Tweet tweet twee...Maybe this dream will finally make me feel
Like I deserve
A dream