Rachel Bloom
I Have Friends
[YOUNG REBECCA]
I have friends
I definitely have friends
No one can say that
I do not have friends!
 
I have friends
I definitely have friends
Friends, friends, friendly friends
Time to meet my friends
 
[PATTI]
I’m Patti!
 
[LOUANN]
LouAnn...
 
[JASON]
Jason and I’m super into Dance Dance Revolution!
 
[UNNAMED GIRL]
Girl with mustache!
 
[UNNAMED BOY]
Boy with port wine stain!
 
[JANITOR]
Janitor who lives in an RV behind the school
 
[YOUNG REBECCA]
I have friends, I definitely have friends!
 
[REBECCA]
Oh yeah! I have friends
I definitely have friends
Objectively, I can say that
I have all the friends!
 
I have friends
I definitely have friends
Friends, friends, friendly friends
Time to meet my friends!
 
[PAULA]
I’m Paula!
 
[DARRYL]
Darryl!
 
[UNNAMED WOMAN]
Lady who hit your car!
 
[UNNAMED MAN 1]
Friend of friend from law school…?
 
[UNNAMED MAN 2]
Grocery clerk with half an eyelid!
 
[BOTH REBECCAS]
We have friends
We definitely have friends
No one can say that
We do not have friends
We have friends
We definitely have friends
Friends, friends, friendly friends
We have all the friends—
Cool!