None Like Joshua
The Avengers: Infinity War Rap Battle
[Chorus - Divide]
We've been waiting for this moment
The final opponent
Collecting the components
TO END HUMANITY!

[Verse 1 - Captain America - JT Music]
The first avenger, represent, show your elders some respect
I've fought Nazis and robots and I've kept the gods in check
Hey Thor, is Mjolnir light? I got a heart of gold, I can hold it right?
Became a super soldier overnight, I was skin and bone now all my clothes are tight
I don't need a cape or hood to cease Thanos' reign for good
You can break the S.H.I.E.L.D. or take my shield, this Roger's neighborhood
Yo Tony, me and your dad go back, we should be making up
These stars and stripes will have your back even when they're stained in blood

[Verse 2 - Bucky Barnes - Ashtin Larold]
So the mad Titan's here and he got around to running his mouth off
I'ma hit him with a right then a left 'cause I got the ultimate southpaw
I got the homie, Steve, to cover me, the blows will just bounce off
Fell asleep for a minute but I'm back and I'm looking for someone to pound on
I ain't scared of your jewelry, you ain't fooling me 'cause
I've got a titanium arm, you came to fight with a glove
You'll feel my might when I punch, I'll put a hole in your head
Forget black and blue, I'ma beat you till that skull turns red
[Verse 3 - Black Widow - Halocene]
Time for you to say goodnight, the sun is getting real low
Shock you with the widow's bite, now you moving real slow
How does it feel knowing you could never take us
Put on my steel-toes, stompin' purple balls' grape nuts
(Romanoff!) Double agent, highly trained assassin
That means I'll stab you in your back and you won't know what happened
Tony, Thor, and Captain gonna leave you blue and blackened
Avengers, assemble, you know my crew is never lacking

[Verse 4 - Hawkeye - Ben Schuller]
Set my sights, pull back and let it rip
Say goodnight once you've been targeted
Not long since I been gone, but a quick thought of me out of retirement
Has got your heart rate faster than these arrows I been firing
Said I was out of this rumble, even though I was top of my game
But Thanos here looking for trouble, you know they been calling my name
So load it up, on this ride till the fun stops
Better run for cover, yeah 'cause I only need one shot

[Verse 5 - Spiderman - GameboyJones]
Peter Parker picked some people plotting poison on my peeps
Packed a painful punch and placed it parallel between his cheeks
Planned to pop this poser, problems, now you see the pertinence
Penalize the perpetrator, press him, pound him, permanent
Adolescent but I'm mad effective, Spiderman on the web, yeah I'm that connected
Thanos, ain't nobody want you here, you just popped up kinda like a bad erection
I don't like your face, I'm 'bout to go up on the high rise
And kick you off the web, just like disconnected WiFi
[Verse 6 - Falcon - Azerrz]
I'm about to swoop and commence to battling
You about to get pimp-slapped with a metallic wing
I'm flying at you, make yo head ring, me and Redwing
Poppin' shots in your direction, let the lead sling
You cannot get me up here, you cannot fly with a falcon
We got you shakin' in fear, yeah you about to get outdone
Face it, you just a lame with a glove
When the missiles come down justice rains from above, squad

[Verse 7 - Black Panther - NemRaps]
Look at his chin, get this dude some lotion
Smacked in the face with my Bugatti spaceship, you bruised and broken
Dressed in all black like the omen
Come for the king, run for your life, now you want to kill
I can't condone it, now you gotta face a good opponent
What kind of villain are you, the one that's not too clever
I'll have you on your knees screaming Wakanda forever
You do not know the way, you do not get to speak
You may be cold as ice but understand I never freeze

[Verse 8 - Scarlet Witch - AngelMelly]
Grab a straight jacket fast because this guy's insane
Energy blast to face, I'm about to fry your brain
Climb inside your mind with my psionic powers
Light flash will leave you blind for hours
Cower, cry and lie in pain
Now tap out, telekinetically giving your arm a twist
The Sokovian conjurer known as Scarlet Witch
My red magic slash, lacerate your cartilage
And lay you down to sleep, then you will truly know God exists
[Verse 9 - Vision - TryHardNinja]
Through the smoke around us I could see your vision clearly
We're the ones that have to be strong while the world is weeping
On the side of life, we fight to save what we hold dearly
Shield the universe in all-out war, it won't be easy
Heroes are flooding the skies, we persevere to survive
Better together we work harder our power combined
Guarding and standing on watch, our people won't be deprived
War left us all in the dark, we will assemble the light

[Verse 9 - Dr. Strange - Dan Bull]
Not a hero, I'm a neurosurgeon but I had to stop my hands really hurting
So I'm heading to Kamar Taj it's hidden with camouflage
Shamballa, the ancient one, is it manna or mana? Am I saying it wrong?
I'll know through focus, meditation, clothed in my new cloak of levitation
It's Stephen Strange looking pimp in this suit
As seasons change in an infinite loop, just think there is you
And then there's me, trapped in this moment endlessly
Dormammu, I've come to bargain, Dormammu, I've come to bargain
Dormammu, I've come to bargain, till I've done my bars, and then I'm departing

[Chorus - Divide]
We've been waiting for this moment
The final opponent
Collecting the components
TO END HUMANITY!

[Verse 10 - Iron Man - NoneLikeJoshua]
(I am Iron Man)
See me leading the Avengers to be triumphant
Hearing Thanos play a tiny violin
Yeah he's sad 'cause he knows that we gonna fight to win
I'm a scientist so I'll find a plan
Shoot a beam then Thor is gonna smash 'em with the Hulk
I'm taggin' the Captain America with Spiderman, uh
Want infinity stones? See the shine on my hand, more money than the entire clan
Hit you with magazines, not from my gun but the ones with my face inside of them
You'd be canned, I could tell you insecure like the size of an ant
Man, step back when the arc reacts and talk to the hand when I'm firing

[Verse 11 - War Machine - Zack Boucher]
Okay I heard you about torturing beings, unfortunate
Seems you think that you're the Lord of the Rings
Hold up, War Machine'll leave you shaking, rattled and scarred
I'm coming at your with way more guns than a national guard
Blasting your balls with about a thousand rounds of ammunition
My shoulder cannons chop your head in half, you making split decisions
Don't waste your breath, the Avengers, we the safest bet
If you take a step then you will really have a date with death

[Verse 12 - Star-Lord - Cam Greely]
Starlord back in business, drop another awesome mix
Your ego like a planet, think it's time it's blown to bits
Bruce Willis looking prick, 100% a dick
For someone so uptight you be like really into fists
Relax my team, I'll blast this fiend like I stopped Ronan's slaughter
This galaxy is backed by me, a-hole don't even bother
Groovin', no one's hotter and I know shitty fathers
So don't hate on the Quill just 'cause the Peter in your daughter

[Verse 13 - Rocket Racoon - Defmatch]
Galaxy we're guarding it, guardians tear your cartilage
You don't want any part of it, aiming straight for the heart of them
Hey pardon me but Thanos has his five finger rings out
Use my five finger discount, got these fire triggers inbound
And you are not a douche guy, I used my wrong eye didn't I?
Got to learn to wink right, give me time
I was bio-engineered, broke out of cryo, commandeering the nearest vessel
Just to pilot it violently up your rear

[Verse 14 - Drax the Destroyer - AaronFrasherNash]
Hahahaha... who are we killing today?
Quill, why are the people of your home planet so ugly?
And when does the fighting begin? I'm bored and hungry
Thanos gonna take a loss against walking thesaurus
'Cause I come from a fam ripped apart
Taking down Ronan was just a start
They say I live for revenge, but that's not true
Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I can be sentimental
The other day I called Mantis beautiful
I wanna say a few words before battle
We're all gonna die, there's no hope in hell

[Verse 15 - Gamora - Emily Amber]
Feels like I been waiting for this moment forever
Couldn't be better, the day we send you down to the nether
Where you belong, I was just a kid, you made me a weapon
Now I'm back for my revenge, you best not be forgetting
I'm an assassin, and this time I got a whole team
Watch your limbs, don't wanna get cut off by a talking tree

[Verse 16 - Teen Groot - The8thHawk]
I am Groot!
I am Groot!
I am Groot!
I am Groot!
I am Groot! (Woah Language Mister)

[Verse 17 - Ant-Man - BonCage]
Small as a dot on the wing of a bee on the back of a slightly larger bee
On the bill of a duck on the back of a horse, what was the question again?
Oh yeah, am I small? Well you could say that
Small like a man who's an ant or ant who's a man
To be honest I don't understand, gonna kick your ass anyway

[Verse 18 - Hulk - LeverSlaysDragons]
Careful how you move around me
You don't wanna see Bruce turn green
If I lose my cool you gon' feel that heat
You gon' free that beast inside
I'm not the one you really wanna try
I'd advise that you run and hide
When my Jekyll side's rage starts to rise
If you wanna feel defeat I'll oblige
Step up to me to meet your demise
Thanos, now you're the source of my agitation
Better hope I go under sedation
Better hope I take up meditation
'Cause I got no patience, you got no chance
Green grouch bout to take out the trash
No romance just tryna smash

[Verse 19 - Thor - FabvL]
Uh, so what's a king to a lizard
Purple skin is tainted by the gems you failed to deliver
A crooked sinner, couldn't stack up if you gathered a horde
Fall onto your knees, bow down to the hammer of Thor
Everybody wanna get it going but I'm flowing through the battle like it's easy breezy
Loki would've been a better fight for the 2nd time, come have a go, looking measly
Drop you harder than your mother did, pathetic
Smash you with the snap of my fingers, I'll come make you regret it, huh

[Verse 20 - Thanos - DaddyPhatSnaps]
Fun isn't something one considers when balancing the universe
But this does put a smile on my face
Petulant child, evident now you ready to bow
It's arrogant how you believe you relevant, wow
Malevolent vow, to proceed to level and plow
Half of the universe, but first just you it hurts
Infinity stones, all capabilities grown
I'm all powerful and breaking every miserable bone
Every citizen including the Avenger Initiative
Can't do anything, I'm taking all your hope and I'm killing it
And that will be the story of you, you all died
It was all pride, gotta admit that you all tried
What did you expect, I only court death
You can get that break 'cause this is your last breath

[Chorus - Divide]
We've been waiting for this moment
The final opponent
Collecting the components
We've been waiting for this moment
The final opponent
Collecting the components
TO END HUMANITY!

[Verse 21 - Deadpool - Rockit Gaming]
Knock knock, it's your favorite Merc with a mouth
Dropping my verse like balls in your mouth
Ya, I know that's not right
But it wasn't cool not giving me an invite
To the team, you know, the new Avengers movie, that's what I mean
Well f*ck it, I'm gonna come in anyways and lay some sick rhymes
'Cause I'm going to be a YouTube star, okay?
Is this the part where I ask them to smash the like, and leave a comment, er?
Gross face burnt like toast, revenge is what I want most
I'm cleaning up the east coast, I eat these streets like beef roast
Wait sh*t, what was my next line? Am I out of time?