[Spoken]
If you've noticed, Donald Trump is a bit of a mess
He presents America's darkest impulses for material wealth
He possesses a malignant childishness
An ignorance, a privelige
Plus his hair is really ugly

[*Pianist plays a note on the piano*]

Wait a second, that sounds awfully familiar
We need to get this mic off-stage it's not supposed to be here!
I'll just start singing anyways

[Intro]
An outrageous public figure chasing power and fame
Grows a bit larger when you mention his name
He'll burn America down if there's something to gain
He's Jake Paul (Uh-huh, that's the bit)
Jake Paul
He's YouTube's Trump (Great)
(spoken)
Hey everybody! My name's irrelevant! What's yours?

[Verse 1]
Who's the most popular unpopular guy?
Got 10 million 'tweens clamouring to subscribe?
Come on everybody let's hear a collective sigh
For Jake Paul (uh-huh)
Nobody whiter[?]
[Verse 2]
Who's the new bro moving in next door?
Forcing neighbours to pay for his one-man show?
Treating his neighbours like they're Mexico
Jake Paul
He's YouTube's Trump

[Verse 3]
Dab! Lib[?]! Peace!
Could we grab a translator?
Catering the lowest common denominators
If cringe could kill he'd be a hell of a dick-tator
Jake Paul
He's Youtube's Trump

[Bridge 1, Spoken]
But maybe I'm being tough on the little guy
He is just a kid
Of 20 years old

[*Jon climbs up the piano*]
Holy shit
My shin hurts
Am I just jealous of Jake?
(sung)
The fame, the money he makes?
Master of the digital economy
Creator of the Year nominee
And not to mention he's kinda hot, I guess?
And what if I'm just a hater?
When I could get ahead being a cultural appropriator?
[*Jon jumps off the piano*]

(spoken)
Ow
(sung)
It's plain to see when I'm in need
I should ask WWJPD

[Verse 4]
Dab on my inhibitions
Dab on the politicians
My resistance to sociopathy
Hey! It's time to embrace
The Jake Paul in me (okay)

[Bridge 2]
Anything I want from you untaken
There's no stopping it
Embrace inner [?]
Love your culture I'm [?]
Indulging in every impulse
Oh it's savage!
It's the awesomest!
If everybody acts like this
We'll bring on the apocalypse
[Instrumental, Spoken]
Oooh, It's the Jake Paul apocalypse
Run for your lives!
Selfie!
Put me down, put me down!
Get away
Scram twerp
Listen everybody, I'd rather be a nobody
Than a bro buddy

[Verse 5]
You see all Jake wants is a spotlight on him
Love him or hate him
Our attention's a win
Even I wrote this song to my lasting chagrin
We're all
Jake Paul! (Thanks fellas!)

[Finale]
See Jake's just doing what we all do
A click is a click
And a view is a view
And hey Internet who made him think it was you?
Jake Paul
Jake Paul
He's YouTube's Trump!