[Hook]
You can't tell me what toys I can play with
You can't tell me not to grow my crops
You can't tell me which sex I can marry
It's so scary the weird way that you watch

[Verse 1]
Straight out of Ponyville:
Motherfucker named Twilight
Don't call her Belle
Sweetie Belle raise hell and beat you in barfight

She's unicorn
Horn got the force move shit around and teleport
But she's a pony
That's a horse that will, but of course, cavort for sport

Like Spike on Rarity, Clydesdale clarity
There's the horse that I hunger for:
Fluttershy got those butter thighs bumblesweet
But a little bit of mumblecore

Pinkemena is mean motherfucker pulling pranks with Rainbow Dash
And they don't give a fuck if your shit's fucked up they're gonna fall back and laugh

[Hook]
You can't tell me what toys I can play with
You can't tell me not to grow my crops
You can't tell me which sex I can marry
It's so scary the weird way that you watch
[Verse 2]
You know the type:
Make you think about suicide they're so super hype
Then you know my pinkie pie so freakafied
Whatever sweets inside won't suffice

Dash is the lass with the rainbow mane
Pass so fast make you lose your cool
She's a mine detector, a cloud collector
When's the last time you heard a rainbow BOOM?

Every time somebody rocks a rainbow
Like R2 or Lucky Charms
They gotta get all aggro back in the backroom
Make sure nobody is doing anybody any harm

Bunch of baloney, just a bunch of ponies:
Save that horseshit for your barn
The only danger in this manger's
Finding friendship on the farm, what!

[Hook]
You can't tell me what toys I can play with
You can't tell me not to grow my crops
You can't tell me which sex I can marry
It's so scary the weird way that you watch
[Verse 3]
Don't talk smack, unless they force you
If it's Applejack, you might taste her horseshoe
Help out with the harvest if she requests it
Her heart is the part that is heavily invested

Herd not a pack with some stand back dramatics
Don't panic: I'm gonna stampede through the static
You heard that it's wack, heard friendship is magic;
Better than back in the paddock

[Bridge]
Some ponies know their cutie marks
And some must crusade
Some people know their role in life
And some others must wait
I love My Little Pony
My Little Pony is great
I wish that people were ponies
Then life wouldn't be lame

[Hook]
You can't tell me what toys I can play with
You can't tell me not to grow my crops
You can't tell me which sex I can marry
It's so scary the weird way that you watch
[growling]

[Hook]
You can't tell me what toys I can play with
You can't tell me not to grow my crops
You can't tell me which sex I can marry
It's so scary the weird way that you watch

[Hook]
You can't tell me what toys I can play with
You can't tell me not to grow my crops
You can't tell me which sex I can marry
It's so scary the weird way that you watch