[Verse 1]
I'm pleased to hear you're coming to visit soon
Yeah, I'm glad to hear you're coming through
I'll get the cabin ready for you and your girl
Yeah, the wife and kids will be here too
There's a guy who thinks I'm fucking his girlfriend
He says he's gonna make me cry
But I couldn't get it up if I wanted to
Man, yeah and I already wanna die

[Chorus]
If the end is nigh, baby
I don't think I wanna survive
If the end is nigh, baby
Make it swift and let me die

[Verse 2]
I started going along to the meetings
Tequila down to my core
But they remind me of my daddy
With that bible shit
And drinking coffee makes me wanna die more
Gonna miss writing songs on piano
Gonna miss Shay and her giant cans
Gonna miss that pretty little Jew Rado
Gonna miss my daughter growing into a man
[Chorus]
If the end is nigh, baby
I don't think I wanna survive
If the end is nigh, baby
Make it swift and let me die

[Outro]
She said "You look all hungover
And you smell like a skunk"
I said "How can I be hungover
If I'm still drunk?"
I'm still drunk, but I still can spot the sky-ay
Yeah, I'm drunk, but I still know there's an almond in your eye
Making sure I'm high
Just in case the end is nigh