​j. sula
Uphill From Here
[Verse 1]
Many moons have passed since Pretty, I still feel the same
Same thoughts running through my head, I feel insane
Supposed to face my problems, I just wanna run away
You tell me that you're sorry, don't know what to say
Rain is pouring in the middle of the summer season
Can't even begin to tell you all the things I'm dealing with
Cards in my deck printed with subtle demons, it's
Humbling how it's bubbling up without a reason
I love you and I miss you when we're not together
'Cause when we're not together
Weather's bad with no umbrella
Life's a symphony, but I'm hearing it a capella
I try my best to not be such an awful fella, but man
The past is catching up in ways I never wanted
I'm living in my mind, and this house is haunted
I wish that night was packed into a box and left forgotten
My heart is on my sleeve, and I always flaunt it

[Chorus]
Constant, I'm always exhausted
Thoughts is nauseous, leave me feeling rotten
I've been daunted, blood is really clotting
Flowers potted, this ride got me carsick
Constant, I'm always exhausted
Thoughts is nauseous, leave me feeling rotten
I've been daunted, blood is really clotting
Flowers potted, this ride got me carsick
[Verse 2]
I've been talking to God, talking to my friends
I've hurt and been hurt, I wanna make amends
That's why it's celebration when I take my pen
And jot these lyrics, now I'm seeing through another lens
I was in a valley that felt infinite
Ironic when the past gets to you, isn't it?
I hit rock bottom, now here's the funny thing
Only way to go is up, so I'ma trampoline (jump)
When things all unforeseen end up just happening
I'm practicing the isolation of my thoughts
Like viruses to quarantine, I intervene like anti-histamine
I'm in-between a submarine
And a couple gallons of hydrazine

[Outro]
I'm grateful, I was hateful
I said things I didn't mean 'cause I'm unstable
I was disgraceful, I was shameful
But she was always faithful
So baby, thank you
Thank you for showing love when I didn't show none back
Through this trial you've still had my back
And it's crazy that I'm feeling like this, feeling so down, but
What goes down must come up, right
I don't know how the saying goes
But that sounds better anyways
Thank you, I love you