[Verse 1]
I know you stole my panties 'cause I have the matching bra
My girlfriend said she saw you out with my favorite red dress on
She said you were dancing in my black snakeskin flats
Acting like a stripper and you didn't even match

[Chorus]
You want a five-finger discount, but nothing in life is free
How 'bout you work hard for what you want instead of lifting it from me
If it helps just a little, I'll give you the middle
It'll help you cut the cost
Can't give you a five-finger discount, but here's twenty percent off

[Verse 2]
I can't believe what you've done to me
After letting you in my house
Who knew you were casing the joint while sleeping on my couch
I'm sure you'll find forgiveness, yeah I'm willing to bet
'Cause that's my grandma's Jesus necklace
Hanging 'round your neck!

[Chorus]
You want a five-finger discount, but nothing in life is free
How 'bout you work hard for what you want instead of jacking it from me
If it helps just a little, I'll give you the middle
It'll help you cut the cost
Can't give you a five-finger discount, but here's twenty percent off
[Bridge]
The cops ain't gonna help me
But this town is pretty small
I'm gonna find out when I find you
That pretty girls can brawl

[Chorus]
'Cause you want a five-finger discount, but nothing in life is free
Well, you better hope that karma ain't a bigger bitch than me
If it helps just a little, I'll give you the middle
It'll help you cut the cost
Can't give you a five-finger discount, but here's twenty percent off

[Outro]
Five finger discount, but here's twenty percent off
Screw you!