You know, if dogs could sing
Here's a song that might be sung by some of man's best friends

She said, "I'm tired of being treated like a dog, I'm outta here"
When I heard those words, it really made me perk up my ears
Now I know she's been mistreated, but what she said is wrong
If he had treated her like a dog, she'd have never gone

If he had rolled around and played with her on the floor down in the den
Taken her for nice long walks, given her a bath and then
Dried her off, rubbed her tummy, scratched her behind her ears
Well, I'll bet you a bag of Ken-L Ration that she'd still be here

If he had only treated her like a dog
Well, happy ever after would have been there everlong
She'd never stray away from home
She'd wag her tail and tag along
If he had only treated her like a dog (Like a dog)

Now he calls me Prince, treats me like a king
And when it comes to her, I don't know why
He can't do the same doggone thing

Like wash her bowl and water dish each night like he does mine
Compliment her, give her little treats from time to time
Let her out all on her own every now and then
Why, I'd have some stiff competition to be that man's best friend
If he had only treated her like a dog
Whoa, happy ever after would have been there everlong
She'd never stray away from home
She'd wag her tail and tag along
If he had only treated her like a dog (Like a dog)
Oh, if he had only treated her like a dog