Ray Stevens
Joggin’
Well, I wake up ev'ry morning 'fore the crack of dawn
Slip into my Nikes and my sweats and I'm gone
Joggin', I got joggin' on my brain
Heat wave, sleet, hail or hurricane
I'm a-poundin' down the pavement, I'm a fool for pain

Joggin' (Joggin')
Yeah, I'm joggin' (Joggin')

Well, I've been gaulded 'tween the thighs by my velveteen togs
I've been bit right on the buns by them Doberman dogs
I've had severe inflammation of my Achilles heel
Is this the way a healthy person's supposed to feel?

I got muscle cramps, I got runner's knee
But no amount of sufferin' will ever stop me
From joggin', I got joggin' on my brain (Uh-huh)
Heat wave, sleet, hail or hurricane
I'm a-poundin' down the pavement, I'm a fool for pain

Joggin' (Joggin')
Joggin' (Joggin')

I got fluorescent patches for runnin' in the dark
I got a little can of mace for the muggers in the park
I've been fussed at and cussed at by people in their cars
I've been clotheslined runnin' blind in people's backyards
Joggin'
Joggin'

Joggin' (Joggin')
Joggin' (Joggin')

Well, I got hundred-dollar shoes and fifty-dollar shorts
A Walkman, headbands, devices of all sorts
A jogger's watch, I read the Runner's Magazine
I eat fruit, bran, fiber and frozen Lean Cuisine

I tried handball, racquetball, tennis and golf
But they don't move me, I only get off
On joggin', I got joggin' on my brain (Uh-huh)
Heat wave, sleet, hail or hurricane
I'm a-poundin' down the pavement, I'm a fool for pain

Joggin' (Joggin')
Yeah, I'm joggin' (Joggin')
Yeah, I'm feelin' good now
Oh, I betcha I can do twenty-seven miles today
Uh-oh, is that a black dog peeping
Round the corner of that house at me?
Dag blame it, I told him to put a chain on his boy!
I'm a-gonna have to call the pound again
Oh Lord, here he comes! Oh! Good boy! Nice dog!
Heel! Down, boy! Now I'm really joggin'!
I think I just messed up my fifty-dollar shorts!
Feets don't fail me now! Argh!