Ray Stevens
Pickin’ on the Chicken
You know, if a chicken could talk
He might say something like this

Why's everybody pickin' on the chicken?
What did a chicken ever do to you?
Why's everybody pickin' on the chicken?
What a crock of cock-a-doodle-doo, bawk

Now I'm not the kinda bird to squawk
But seems like these days, folks can't talk
Without somehow slandering the chicken's name
Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck
But bigotry and discrimination
Dominate the syntax of this whole nation
It's enough to drive a dumb dominecker insane
They say "flew the coop" when a thief's departed
And if he's lacking courage, he's "chicken-hearted"
And if he messes up, "he's got egg on his face"
He'll work for "chicken feed" or "hatch a scheme"
Something's "stuck in his craw", see what I mean?
Demeaning references to chickens are commonplace

"Bird brain", "dumb cluck", "no spring chicken", "strut your stuff"
"Nest egg", "bad egg", "shake your tail feather", "cocky" and such
"Laid an egg", "in a stew", I don't know what a chicken can do
You know being a chicken in this environment is "nothing to crow about"
No, a chicken's life is not all it's "cracked up to be"
And stop questioning my motives about crossing the road, I don't know why I did it
Hey, I'm a chicken, yeah
Maybe I did it to show the possum it could be done, or sing a duet with Willie Nelson
What difference does it make? I crossed the road, okay? Get over it!

And it's time to stop pickin' on the chicken
I mean, what a chicken ever did to you?
It's time to stop pickin' on the chicken
What a crock of cock-a-doodle-doo

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch" and "don't put all your eggs in one basket"
And "don't put up a squawk" or "all your chickens might come home to roost"
People get "up with the chickens" or "go to bed with the chickens"
Or are concerned about the "pecking order"
He's the "cock of the walk", "he rules the roost"
"Broods" over problems like "empty nest syndrome"
You know what makes me "madder than a wet hen"?
What does every strange thing from frog legs to rattlesnake taste like?
That's right, chicken

Finding some sort of reference that doesn't include a chicken is is is "as rare has hen's teeth"
Bawk, now you've got me doing it
I'll be so upset before long I'll be "running around like a chicken with its head cut off"
Okay, bawk, I can't believe I said that, bawk
Somebody stop me, bawk
"What came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Oh, "I feel like I'm walking on eggs"
I feel "hen-pecked"
Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken
You know, "it ain't over 'til the fat chicken sings" and that's me
Is this any good or did I just "lay an egg"?