If you thinkin' about illegal immigration
Be careful when you're choosin' the nation
'Cause breakin' the law in some countries is frowned upon
Imagine that

Sneak into China and they'll call you a spy
And ship you to Mongolia till you die
And in Sudan they'll hang you and the camel you rode in on

Yeah and don't go a-hikin' and enter Iran
Or you might never be heard from again
And in Mexico you might face a firing squad

Yeah and forget all about going to North Korea
That's a great example of a bad idea
So when it comes down to it
There's only one option you got

Yeah come to the USA
There's no penalty to pay
Should you get caught illegally immigratin'

Come to the USA
It will be your lucky day
'Cause when you get in there's lots of goodies waitin'
Like health care welfare free education
Help with your voter registration
And drivers license and credit cards
And license plates for your old car

Lots of jobs for you to do
And employers who'll turn a blind eye too

Come to the USA!

No need to worry about the Constitution
We'll help you start a house of prostitution
If that's the kind of work that you wanna do

You see those gringo infidels are crazy
They'll give citizenship to your new baby
So you see there's really only one choice for you

Come to the USA
There's no penalty to pay
Should you get caught illegally immigratin'
I said come to the USA
It will be your lucky day
'Cause when you get in there's lots of goodies waitin'

Yeah you get public housing and cable TV
And food stamps and even government cheese
The borders are a swinging door
Go home for a visit and come back for more
There's sanctuary and amnesty
Bring the whole famn damily eventually

Yeah come to the USA