[Intro: Eric Bloom]
Hey, hey, hey, there's just a DJ
An engineer, with no say

[Verse 1: Eric Bloom]
Why that's all there is, oh why...
Caught us with a shoe-shine boy
In the radio booth
Get shoe-shined, hey, hey, hey
While you hear spooky tooth

[Bridge: Eric Bloom]
Well, if he's in there too
That's not hard to do
That's not hard to do
That's not hard to do
That's not hard to

[Verse 2: Eric Bloom]
Day by day, there's no hay
Shining' shoes the old way
Polish made of oily stud pie
But with a shoe-shine girl
In a shoe-shining kit
Get shoe-shine, hey, hey, man
While you're watching some tit
[Instrumental 1:33 - 7:14]

[Verse 3: Eric Bloom]
Well, if he gets a chance
Come on, shine your pants
You will shine your pants
Come on, shine your pants
Jack will shine your
Pants above the knee are knickers
Many worn by football kickers
Accompanied by pairs of sneakers
Nil from any standpoint of the shoe-shine boy