[Verse 1: Eric Bloom]
Blow away, grow away
Throw your lousy dough away
Watchin' sideburns growing
Gettin' lengthier than the hay

[Chorus 1: Eric Bloom]
I'm a magic man with a magic plan
In a royal exclamation
I'm the royal duster dan

[Verse 2: Eric Bloom]
When you pull the string
I'm just another favorite toy
But spend your time with candy
And your dentist gets annoyed

[Verse 3: Eric Bloom]
When I am a stooge (a stooge)
It never fails to fail, to fail
Sit me on a toy stool (toy stool)
I want the sand that's in your pail
And a boat that sails

[Instrumental Bridge]
[Verse 4: Eric Bloom]
If I was a realie
I'd want a sgad of fester sores
Got none now, but then I'd want
A million hundred more

[Verse 5: Eric Bloom]
Scaffold on the wrist (the wrist)
It does the same thing as a tape
For broken wrist the treatment (treatment)
Vitamins that have the shape
Of a busted grape

[Verse 6: Eric Bloom]
Ragamuffin, tagamuffin
Sour dough, ruffin, muffin
Desperation jargon
Spittle-powered by a cork

[Chorus 2: Eric Bloom]
I'm a magic man with a magic plan
In an awesome thunderbolt
I'm the royal dumpling stan