[Tune of Jingle Bells]
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way...
(Pause)
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh, hey!...
(Pause)
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride...
(Pause)
In a one horse open sleigh, hey!

We should have fit more lines
On each paper that would be
So much less awkward for us
But that would be too ea... sy, oh!

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open...
(Pause)
Sleigh

[Tune of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer]
I ate gingerbread frosted and cinnamon cookies
Rudolph and Santa and snowman shaped cookies
And if I recall
I ate an entire cheese ball
Why do i just keep eating?
I just ate a whole turkey
Three pounds of mashed potatoes
Someone take my fork from me

Egg nog, fruitcake, candy canes
Grandma's pumpkin pie
I just ate an ornament
I am probably going to die

Why do I just keep eating?
I must have a hollow leg
Where could the food be going?
I'm in so much freaking pain

[Tune of Frosty the Snowman]
The family's together to celebrate this day
There's been three fights and a broken nose all involving Grandma Fey
I'm hiding in the attic until they go away
Uncle Jeff just climbed the Christmas tree cause he's crazier than Kanye

I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick
Than sit around and listen to them argue politics

So I'm up for adoption
Somebody please take me
Oh I beg and plea
Won't somebody save me from my family
[Tune of Feliz Navidad]
Excuse me, I saw what you did
I just let you merge in traffic
You pretend like it didn't happen
But I can see you in your car

You didn't even give the hand wave
Or the popular silent "thank you"
So a gift from you from the middle of my hand
It's a finger!

At least give a nod
At least give a nod
Is that so hard for you to do just to give a nod
Solo! (Tyler plays uke solo)

[Tune of Santa Clause is Coming To Town]
Do do do
Do do do do do
Do do do
Do do do do do
Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year

His beard is crooked
That's a pillow in his gut
I'm pretty sure I saw him slap an elf on the butt
Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year
Now I'm sitting on his lap
Says I'm a great sitter
Then he says,
"Your band is trash but still follow me on twitter"
Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year

He knows he smells like tacos
He knows that I'm uncomfortable
He knows that we should have picked a better word to rhyme with than uncomfortable

Posing for the picture
What's he doing with his hand?
Then he whispers,
"You're my second favourite member of your band"
(Spoken) Cause there's two of them, there's two and he's the second favourite - Josh is awesome

Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year
Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year