I've got bad news, baby
And you're the first to know
Yes, I've got bad news, baby
And you're the first to know
Well, I discovered this morning
That my wig is about to blow

Well, I've been rockin' on my feet
And I've been talkin' all out of my head
Yes, I've been rockin' on my feet
And I've been talkin' all out of my head
And when I get through talkin'
I can't remember a thing I've said

Now I used to be a sharpie
All dressed in the latest styles
But now I'm walkin' down Broadway
Wearin' nothing but a smile

I see all kinds of little men
Although they're never there
I tried to push a subway train
And poured whiskey in my hair
I'm a gal who blew a fuse
I've got those blowtop blues
Last night I was five feet tall
Today, I'm eight feet ten
Every time I fall downstairs
I float right up again

When someone turned the lights on me
It like to drove me blind
I woke up this morning in Bellevue
But I've left my mind behind
I'm a gal you can't excuse
'Cause I've got those blowtop blues

Well, I got high last night
And I took my man to his wife's front door
Yes, I got juiced last night
And I took my man to his wife's front door
Oh, but she was a .45 packin' mama
And I ain't goin' to try that no more