(Jimmy McHugh / Frank Loesser)

(There's always one in every fam'ly
And nobody loves him one bit
There's always one in every fam'ly)
And confidentially, I'm it

I get the neck of the chicken
I get the rumble seat ride
I get the leaky umbrella
Everyone shoves me aside
When I jump in my shower each morn'
Sure as fate, I'm too late
All the hot water is gone

I get the neck of the chicken
I get that burnt piece of toast
I get that seat in the movies
Smacko! in back of the post
That's why I can't get over this dream that came true
If I get the neck of the chicken
How did I ever get you?

I get the neck of the chicken
That's how they give me the bird
And in the family snapshot
Mine is the face that's all blurred
When morning paper comes to the door
Sure as fate, I'm too late
And they're mine long about four
I get the neck of the chicken
I get the plate with the crack
I get those evenings with Granma
Everyone else can relax
That's why I can't get over this fine howdy-do
If I get the neck of the chicken
How did I ever get you?